The Only Good Thing Is The Kickstand

When I worked in bike shops, I'd tell prospective customers that the price of bicycles, like the price of many other things, is subject to the law of diminishing returns.  In other words, spending $250 instead of $200 would bring more significant improvement than than spending $800 instead of $700.

But, I would emphasize, it was necessary to spend a minimum baseline amount of money to get a bike that is reliable and pleasant to ride.  Customers would, of course, ask the inevitable question:  What's the minimum amount I have to spend in order to get a good bike?

British former pro racing cyclist James Lowsley Williams tried to answer the qustion.  He decided to tackle a 200 km (about 125 miles)  along England's southwestern coast from Barnstable to Bath.  I cycled in the area many years ago and, even as young as I was, I was surprised at how arduous some of the climbs were.  Williams called them "horrific," so I don't feel so bad about whatever difficulty I had.

When embarking upon that ride, he wanted "to say that you can have fun on a cheap bike" and that "you can still have epic rides."  

Perhaps such a thing is possible.  If it is, it's fair to ask, "How cheap?"

Well, Williams embarked on the trip on a Eurobike that sells for 30 GBP (about 38 USD) on Amazon.  His first impressions were "not good."  He missed his own "superbike," but he tried to keep an open mind.

There are some deficiencies, however, that no amount of mental flexibility can overcome.  "As soon as this bike goes uphill, it wants to go backwards."  When he stood, he "kept hitting the gears" and 'it chucks me into a high gear and I have to start again."    The only good thing about the bike, he says, is "the kickstand."

What's It Worth?

This is a $12,000 bike!

He'd just "wiped out" on a sand-dusted L-shaped turn.  I saw him, picking himself up.  Blood streamed down his legs and from his elbows.

Can you move your shoulder?  Your knee?

He bent his joints and back and nodded.  At least you're OK, I assured him.  Go home, take a rest.  You're probably not hurt, but you're in shock.

He pointed to his $200 saddle, torn in the rear.  Then he jerked his bike to the right and looked for damage.  At least I didn't scratch the bike.  Honestly, I'm worried about that than my body.  I paid $12,000 for it.

Other riders passed.  I alerted them to the sand "trap."  One rider asked if the guy on the $12,000 S-Works carbon-fiber wonder was OK.  He nodded.  I picked up a piece of something.  That's from my front shifter, he said.  It's a little plastic thing, but Shimano'll probably charge me $100 for it.  

Then he tried to route the chain back on to the larger chainring by starting at the bottom and spinning the pedal backward. But it wouldn't go.  I noticed that it was stopping at something that looked like some sort of chain guide on the seat tube.  He affirmed that, indeed, the comma-shaped plastic pi6ece served that purpose.  Electronic shifting is great, except at times like this, he exclaimed.

I've never worked on such a system before, but I suggested that he try threading the chain through the guide and rotating the crank as if he were pedaling.  It worked. Well, it meant that he could use only his large chainring, but it was OK to get me home, he said.  I'm going to bring it to my mechanic.

More riders passed us. I don't want to keep you from your ride, he said.  Are you feeling OK?  Can you see clearly?  He nodded twice.

I guess I'm lucky.  I wasn't wearing my helmet.  He glanced at it. But look--it was cracked on the rear.  I know I'm stupid:  It's a $300 helmet.

Note:  I actually encountered this rider the other day as I descended the ramp from the Veterans' Memorial Bridge to the Rockaways.  All of the dialogue is real, at least as best as I recall it.