A Bike For The Zombie Apocalypse

Emergency preparedness makes sense.  All you need to know are which emergencies you need to prepare for and how to go about preparing.

Now, I'm not going to give you advice about either. I can no more predict what sorts of emergencies or disasters are likely to happen than I can turn carbon fiber into gold.  But, apparently, there are folks who make their living (or at least a pretty good supplemental income) of telling people what disaster is most likely to strike and how to prepare for it. Some think that the disaster will be the result of a war with China or some coalition of Islamic fundamentalists.    Others think that the next economic crash will trigger a breakdown in the social order.  Still others think the cataclysm will be natural, such as solar flares or climate change. 

(For what it's worth, I'd probably pick climate change, which might in turn cause societal breakdowns, which in turn could lead to wars.  But, as I said, I have absolutely no predictive powers.)

One thing I find interesting is that nearly all survivalists, however they think the apocalypse will come, believe that a bicycle is an important part of any "survival tool kit".  That makes sense when you realize that bikes will be among the few ways we'll be able to get around if fuel supplies or their distribution networks are destroyed.  But, of course, if the world comes to an end, the bike shops won't be open and, I imagine, online retailers won't be able to do business.   So I've begun to stock tires, tubes, cables, lubes and, yes, even a spare Brooks Pro along with the crates of canned food, bottled water and cases of wine. ;-)

Seriously, though:  Bicycles will be useful, but not only as transportation.  They can also help you defend against marauding packs of thugs--and zombies.

Yes, there is a bike designed to defend against zombies:

It's actually a pretty clever design, as the motor powers the front wheel as well as the chainsaw. So, I imagine, one could rev the bike up to a pretty decent speed, whether for attacking or defending.  Now as to how effective the chainsaw would be against attacking zombies...I dunno.

As for rigging one up or actually using it, all I can say is "Don't try this at home."  That is, if you still have a home when the zombies take over. 

Eddy Turns 70

 

As I mentioned in an earlier post, I have seen four athletes completely dominate their sports. Eddy Mercx was the first of them.

He turned 70 today.  Oh, how time flies--though, perhaps, not as fast as he rode in his prime!

But it wasn't his speed that makes him so memorable or that will mark him as one of the immortals.  As long as the technology of training methods and bicycles themselves develops, riders will ride faster and records will be broken.  

Even today, riders who have broken the hour record, or aspire to do so, look to Mercx--who held the record from 1972 to 1984--as the "gold standard", if you will.  Other riders, including those who have matched his record of five Tour de France victories, speak of him with reverence.

Perhaps it's because they know neither they nor anyone else will break his record of 525 race victories.  More to the point, though, is that they know that neither they nor anyone else has ever had the aura of invincibility "The Cannibal" had in his prime.

And no rider, really, has ever been as good an ambassador for the sport as he's been.  Maybe no one else ever will be.

Flat-Free--For Today, Anyway

Today dawned clear; bright sun filled the morning and afternoon sky.  Clouds gathered around the time schools were letting kids out but there was no threat of rain. That much I could tell because although the air grew warmer, as it normally does during the day, the humidity didn’t increase. Or so it seemed.

In other words, today was a very, very nice day for a ride in these parts.  So of course I went.  Best of all, I pedaled into the wind as I pedaled away from home.  That meant, of course, that the wind blew me back.  I couldn’t have planned it any better than that.

I rode over parts of routes I’ve ridden many times before.  Although I’ve been thinking, lately, about new places and paths, I was happy to ride my old, familiar routines today.  In brief, I was simply happy to ride.

No, I haven’t had some near-death experience or other tragedy that could have left me unable to ride my bike—or live.  This day, and the ability to ride with nothing to distract me from its pleasures, was enough. 

All right, I’ll admit that there was one particular thing about this ride that made me even happier than I usually am when I’m on my bike.  Perhaps it will seem completely mundane, and under most circumstances it would be.  What is that piece of good fortune?  Here goes:  I didn’t get a flat.

From Trinity Outdoor Education

 

Now, I manage to do most of my rides—including my commutes—without puncturing my tires or tubes.  But on the three rides I took before this one, I had no such luck.  In fact, on one ride, I managed to get two flats.

You might be asking yourself, “She’s devoting a post to that?”  I can’t blame you if you are.  But the fact that I got this recent rash of flats is actually of some import—to me, anyway.  Why?

Well, those flats weren’t the result of worn-out or poor-quality tires or tubes.  I also haven’t been riding any tires that are lighter or otherwise more delicate than the ones I’ve used for the past several years. (The tires I rode today were Continental Gatorskins; I almost invariably ride tires from Continental, Michelin, Panaracer or Schwalbe.)  And, of course, the road conditions aren’t different from what I’ve been riding for a while.

All right, I should amend that last statement.  It does seem that there’s more debris on the streets, roads and paths than I normally see at this time of year.  I think it may have something to do with the fact that we had snow and ice so late in the season this year.  In most years, I encounter the most debris—and get the majority of whatever flats I get—in late winter and early spring.  I think that in most years, some shards of glass and other hazards are buried under the snow and ice and exposed once those winter accumulations melt or are brushed or shoveled away.  The first couple of heavy rains in April or May seem to wash much of the debris away; I rarely get flats late in the spring, or in the summer or fall unless I’m riding on a worn tire or have some other unusual circumstance.

In most years in this part of the world, the snow and ice are usually gone by March and the first heavy rains—the kinds that cause flooding on low ground or places with poor drainage—strike in April. However, we didn’t have such a torrent until the first day of this month. It usually takes two or three such storms, I think, to wash away much of what causes flats.

I’m hoping today’s ride is a good omen.  If it isn’t, well, I’ve had to do much worse things than replace or repair a tube during a ride!