Good-Bye, Papa Elf!

 The man in the rear was playing his favorite role. 

Bob Newhart was Papa Elf in “Elf,” the 2003 Christmas classic. 

Although he wasn’t “playing himself,” I think his portrayal of Papa Elf tapped into the dry curmudgeonly humor of the personae he created in “The Bob Newhart Show” and “Newhart.”

Sadly, there will be no more from him: He passed away today, at 94 years old. Somehow, though, he will always seem to be, like his characters, in midlife: He was almost there when his career in comedy finally took off.

A Year And 500 Miles

 In a previous post, I said that the easiest way to get away with killing someone in North America is to run over a cyclist or pedestrian with a car, truck or other motorized vehicle.  For one thing, dead victims can’t testify for themselves. For another, planning, policy and law enforcement have prioritized moving vehicular traffic as quickly and efficiently as possible. Cyclists and pedestrians are seen as “getting in the way” of that goal. And, oftimes, law enforcement officials simply don’t care.

So—call me a cynic—I am surprised when a reckless driver faces justice for ending one of our rides—even if said driver is impaired or can be shown to have intended harm or was simply negligent.

Therefore, learning that Jessica Hendrickson was arrested yesterday in western Kentucky seemed almost fantastical. Surveillance cameras placed an alert on her vehicle tag, locating her at Exit 86 on Interstate 24. There, Oak Grove police apprehended her.

She struck and killed 61-year old Navy veteran Jeff Nichols—on 10 June 2023 near Pensacola, Florida. In other words, she was on the run for more than a year after killing a cyclist about 500 miles (800 kilometers) from where she was taken into custody.

According to the Western Kentucky Star, she is being “lodged” (Don’t you love that term?) in the Christian County Jail. She faces a charge of being a fugitive from another state.

Will Donuts Destroy This Shop?

 Some cyclists—racers, mainly—would never, ever touch a donut. Others see them as a quick and tasty source of energy.

I’ll admit that I’ve had a donut or two before or during rides. So I won’t judge you if you have.

If bikes and donuts are beside each other, I suppose they could be mutually beneficial for business. At least, a bike shop or lane might bring business to a donut shop. On the other hand, there are instances in which donuts aren’t good for a bike shop.

The kinds of donuts I’m talking about aren’t Dunkin’ or Krispy Kreme, cinnamon or Boston Cream. Rather, I am referring to an automotive stunt that involves rotating the rear or front wheels in a continuous motion around the opposite set of wheels. The goal seems to be to leave a circular skid mark of rubber and leave smoke from friction.

Of course, anyone engaging in such stupidity probably will feel the need to do it at as high a rate of speed as possible. That increases the chances of the driver losing control, sometimes with tragic consequences.

A donut “sideshow” didn’t cost John McDonell his life. But it may have cost him his life’s work—or the last 13 years of it, anyway.

During that time, he has owned and operated Market Street Cycles in San Francisco. For a few years, business was very good: The shop stands at the intersection of Market, Page and Valencia Streets, all of which have bike lanes. Thus, the establishment profited from being along one of the city’s busiest bicycles commuting routes.

That is, until the COVID-19 pandemic struck.  San Francisco was under one of the hardest lockdowns in the US. Even after it was lifted, bicycle—and vehicular—traffic never resumed. According to McDonell, there’s “less than one-third of the traffic” that passed the shop pre-pandemic. “There’s no downtown, there’s no commute anymore,” he lamented.

Since then, his shop and other businesses in the area have been plagued with robberies.  But the coup de grâce may have come early yesterday morning, when a driver doing “donuts” smashed into his shop. The 57-year-old shop owner says he’ll probably close permanently. “I’m too old for this shit,” he said.