Not The Way To “Graduate “

Many people ride bicycles until they “graduate” to cars. 

Here in the United States, kids may pedal to school, an after-school job or to someplace “fun” until they get their driver’s licenses.  Like many of my high school classmates, they may not mount a saddle again once they get behind the wheel of a car.

In other countries—and in some communities, including ones near me, the bicycle might be a means to acquiring an automobile. You often see immigrants taking this path, if you will:  They might ride a pedaled or e-bicycle to work, or to make deliveries, so they can save enough money to buy, or make a down payment on, an automobile. 

A gentleman in Indiana decided to follow the time-honored tradition I described in the previous paragraph, except for one thing:  He didn’t want to save up. Instead, he had the brilliant idea of using his bike to make one quick payday that would allow him to parlay two wheels into four—or, to be more precise, eight, as he bought two cars.

So what did he do that will be taught to future generations of students at the Wharton Business School (a certain billionaire’s alma mater)? And what lessons might those future Masters of the Universe draw from it?

Well, Derek Dwayne Core rode his mountain bike to a bank. I’ve done that many times myself. However, I have never entered such an establishment (or any other) dressed in white—and a ski mask. And the many items I’ve carried on my bicycles have never included a handheld device designed to propel projectiles for the purpose of making holes in human bodies.

OK, I don’t think I need to tell you what he did.  And it might’ve been a brilliant business plan except for a couple of things. 

 One, the bag into which he stuffed those green pieces of paper he took from the bank ripped, spilling those likenesses of American historic icons. Naturally, he gathered up as many as he could, which probably narrowed the time and distance between him and the folks pursuing him in blue suits.

Two: A piece of his sneaker lace got caught in his chain.

Those green pieces of paper and sneaker lace became evidence that the fellows in blue suits would use at the end of their pursuit. Those things, and two others: the 2005 Cadillac Escalade he bought and the 2013 GMC Yukon his friend bought—with the green pieces of paper he managed to retrieve.