Not The Way To Deal With A Flat Tire

 

In Ladri di Biciclette—known in the English-speaking world as “Bicycle Thieves” or “The Bicycle Thief”—protagonist Antonio Ricci’s bicycle, which he needs in order to do his job, is stolen.  After a futile search, he sees an unattended bicycle and jumps on it. 

Of course, there is even more to the story. But if there is a “point,” it may be that conventional morality breaks down when people are desperate, as Antonio and so many other people were in war-ravaged Rome. That is a reason why I and many other viewers have felt some sympathy for him that we wouldn’t feel for other bike thieves.

Then again, most bike thieves don’t have a motive nearly as laudable, or at least socially acceptable, as that of Antonio, who is simply trying to feed his family. Most thieves’ goal is to sell the bike or its parts, locally or abroad, whether for themselves or a ring or gang in which they work.

Then there is the fellow in New Zealand who saw an unlocked bike in front of a supermarket and took off on it.

Why?  Because his own bike got a flat tire.

Matthew Gallatly has since pleaded guilty and been sentenced to community service and to pay for the insurance excess. The judge lauded him for owning up to his misdeed but said there is “no excuse” for it.

They Stole A Bike—And What Else?

 If you have ever had a bike stolen, bicycle thieves might seem like the most depraved individuals.

While pilfering Peugeots and Pogliaghis might be some crooks’ métier, others no doubt steal other things. This makes sense when you realize that many bike thefts are crimes of opportunity and the end-game is to sell the bike, whether whole in parts. The same could be said for the filching of other items like jewelry.

I have to wonder, however, about the two perps who entered, without permission, a New Orleans apartment complex on 18 July. They stole a bicycle—and a package containing the remains of a deceased person.

Surveillance images from NOPD

While I deplore stealing bikes, I can understand why thieves do it: Bicycles are relatively easy to swipe and sell. I cannot, on the other hand, comprehend a motive for taking someone’s remains. Could it be that the partners in crime took the package simply because it was there and didn’t realize what was inside? Or was there some more complicated motive that involved, say, revenge or simply harassment against a particular person?

Whatever the explanation may be, a bicycle and a package of human remains has to be one of the strangest combinations of theft I—and, possibly, the police officers investigating the case—have ever heard of.

Bike Thieves Prey On Crash Victim

The late, great Tom Cuthbertson--author of "Anybody's Bike Book" and "Bike Tripping"--wrote that stealing a bike from someone who loves and depends on it is one of the lowest things one human being can do to another.

As someone who loves and depends on my bikes, I agree.  But I also believe that some forms of bike theft are lower than others.  

On 23 February, some time between 5:30 and 6:30 pm local time, a young cyclist fell off his Carerra Vengeance mountain bike and suffered serious injuries.

Two men in their 20s stopped by on the premise of helping him.  They did indeed help him to his feet and waited with him until medical help arrived.  They were not, however, the Good Samaritans they pretended to be.  The victim's vulnerability became an opportunity for them to get a free bike--which they took with them as they fled into the York (UK) city centre.

A police spokesperson is urging anyone who might have information to contact Constable Eleanor Stevens.  

He Understands The Value Of A Bike

Bicycles are extremely valuable pieces of equipment.  Quite often, they are more valuable than the motor cars their owners possess.

That insight comes from William Hart.  That is, Judge William Hart to you—and me.

The Bristol Crown Court magistrate made that observation in sentencing Michael Whatley and Steven Fry to 66 and 4O months, respectively, for charges that include stealing several high-end bikes from Friction Cycles in Bristol.

For that statement alone, I would be willing to sponsor Judge Hart were he willing to abdicate Her Majesty’s justice system and bring his wisdom to this land of anti-vaxers. Of course, it’s difficult to imagine why he’d want to do such a thing—or that he would need sponsorship from me, or anyone else.

I am guessing—or at least hoping—that such a wise and worldly person would understand that the value of bikes to their owners, whether intrinsic or relative to their cars, is more than monetary—especially for folks like yours truly who don’t have a car, or even a driver’s license.  

If nothing else, the Honorable William Hart merits my respect—and, I am sure, that of many readers of this blog—simply for understanding that bike theft should be taken as seriously as other kinds of crimes: something too few of his colleagues, or law enforcement officers, in the United States do.

Quis Custodiet Ipsos Custodes?

During the initial investigation, video surveillance was obtained depicting two males removing the bicycles and leaving the area.

That sentence could be part of a police report almost anywhere, about any two males (or females or non-binary people) in a depressingly familiar scenario.

But then there's the next sentence:

These actors were identified as Eric Campbell and Austin Craig, who are both employed as Police Officers with the Lower Township Police Department."

The report continues with the caveat that the charges are "merely accusations" and that "defendants are presumed innocent until proven guilty."  Still, it's hard not to notice that the accused thieves are constables in a town adjacent to the seaside resort of Cape May, New Jersey's southernmost area.

Now, assuming that Campbell and Craig are indeed the "bad actors," it begs the question of "Why?"  Do Lower Township cops have too much time on their hands?"  (Charming as it is, calling the place "sleepy" makes it seem like Times Square. I know, I've been there.)  Are they so poorly-paid that they can't afford bikes?  Or did they become "bad actors" for the reason some other police officers go rogue:  because they could, because they figured their badges and shields would protect them from charges?

If You're Gonna Steal...Don't Learn From These Guys

Normally, bike theft is not a laughing matter.  But I am relaying this story as a "Sunday funny" because of the thief's ineptitude.

In New Hampshire, a couple of guys cased out a bike shop.  At least, that much can be surmised as they bypassed the cheap bikes and took three with a combined retail value of $16,000.  

In the wee hours of morning, before the shop opened, the perps backed a van into the shop's front door.  They tossed two of the bikes into the back of the van and the other on the roof.

But they forgot to shut the rear door of the van.  And the bike on the roof fell off as they drove away.

Bob Beal, the shop's owner, said it took a year to get those bikes and will probably take at least another to replace them.  But, as the crooks' bungling was recorded, and the fire department later responded to a call for a burning van--which the thieves abandoned and apparently torched--I suspect the criminals will be caught sooner rather than later. 

I would imagine that Mr. Beal will be compensated for his losses.  But I am sure he and his customers would rather have those bikes.

A Masked Slash And Grab

The good news about the COVID-19 epidemic (Did I actually write that?) is that more people are riding bikes.

The bad news is that more bikes are being stolen.  What's worse is that not all of the thieves are taking unattended bikes or breaking locks on parked machines. Perps know they're harder to identify when they're wearing masks, so some have become more brazen about how they part riders from their wheels.

Such was the case a month ago, just a few miles from my apartment.  Sometimes, during rides to or from Fort Totten or Nassau County, I'll stop in Flushing--the Chinatown of Queens--for dumplings or other tasty treats.  A young man who stopped in front of a restaurant near Main Street--may have had the same idea.

Whatever his intention, another young man started to talk to him.  The distraction allowed another young man to approach him from behind--and slash him in the face.

He dropped his phone and bike.  The guy who started the conversation scooped them up and took off.  The slasher ran into a subway station a few doors away.

Everything was captured on video.  I just hope someone can recognize the perps and call the NYPD hotline (1-800-577-8477 for English, 1-800-577-4782 for Spanish).

Bike Thieves Meet The Id

Alert:  I will talk politics and religion in this post.

Donald Trump may well be the first American president to rule entirely by his id.  

That's the part of our psyche that reacts to immediate needs and impulses.  Much of our education and acculturation is, essentially, training in not living by our ids.  Of course, your teachers, parents and other authority figures don't tell you that (unless, perhaps, they're psychologists or psychiatirists).  In my milieu, I don't think anyone had even heard of that two-letter term, just as they never used words like milieu.  I didn't hear such words until I went to college.

Because of such training, most of us will only go so far in response to being wronged.  I don't think any previous president would have assassinated the military leader of another country because, well, the leaders of their country did things we didn't like.  (And he said he was doing it to prevent a war:  Even Rudy Giuliani would have a hard time being more Orwellian!)  Likewise, most sexual abuse victims won't do what a 19-year-old in France did to the priest who sexually abused him and his father:  He rammed a crucifix down the prelate's throat.

I have retaliated with physical violence once in my life, when someone tried to sexually assault me.  I'll admit I've thought about reacting with force, but didn't, on more than a few occasions.  And I have made threatening gestures against potential aggressors--including a would-be bike thief I scared away.

I'll admit that at the moment I confronted the perp, I thought about doing what a couple in Visalia, California did. Corey Curnutt and Savannah Grillot baited would-be bike thieves with a bike planted in their front yard.  When someone tried to steal it, they rushed out and beat, with baseball bats, the person who tried to take it.

According to police, they did this four times between July and November of the past year.  I'm guessing that the vigilante couple would have been caught eventually, but they probably hastened their arrests by posting videos of their deeds on YouTube.

Now I'll confess that if I were on a jury, I really wouldn't want to vote to convict Curnutt or Grillot--or the young man in France.  But one reason why we're taught not to live by our ids is that part of our psyche is incapable of restraint.  Plus, almost every ethical and moral system of which I'm aware condemns retaliatory violence.  

All right, I'll end with one more confession:  I cheered when Thelma shot Harlan.  Then I felt ashamed of myself--just a little.  At least I knew "Don't try this at home."