Clothes Make The…

I know…You’re looking at this because you like her bike and her, um, attire.

And that’s the reason why I posted it.  Really!

Oooh...Those Lines...Those Curves

Of course we all know that sex sells.  Not for nothing are photos that highlight velocipedic lines and curves called "bike porn".  

Some parts, and some types of frames, lend themselves particularly well to hints of eroticism.  The classic handlebar stem (often referred to as a "gooseneck"), crank arms come to mind for me.  And, during the late 1970's and early 1980's, it seemed that every other hub was made in an hourglass shape.

It seems, though, that some people thought hubs were sexy even before that time:

Now tell me...what do you make of a poster with a fadeout of a nude model--for a hub called Mussel-man?

Hey, it gets even better.  Read this morsel from the penultimate paragraph of the copy:

     These beautiful broad flanged hubs appeal to all riders who like to go places and do things in Olympic fashion.  Their dazzling brilliance and rugged racy lines appeal to every boy who hears the call of the open road.

A siren call?  I find it interesting that the first sentence is an appeal to "all riders" but the second is to "every boy".

With Mussel-man hubs, would he get the girl?  Would I?

Orange Peel--Or Krush?

During my childhood and early adolescence, Schwinn made a line of bicycles called "Krates", which were really variants of their enormously popular Stingray bicycles.  They had "banana" seats, "stick" shifters and other features that were meant to evoke the "muscle" cars of that era.

Those bikes came in a rainbow of colors and went by names like the Pea Picker Lemon Peeler, Apple Krate and Orange Krate.  (As Tom Wolfe pointed out in The Kandy-Kolored Tangerine Flake Streamline Baby, young men involved in the culture of custom muscle cars seemed to have an abhorrence of the letter "C".)  

I never, ever thought about what an Orange Peel might have looked like.  But I found out while I was surfing the web after riding home just ahead of yesterday's deluge:

Do Ya Think I'm Sexy?

Now, tell me: When was the last time you read a post in a cycling blog that had the same title as a Rod Stewart song?


Well, now you just did.  Do you feel you've accomplished something you can tell your grandchildren?  (ha, ha)


Anyway, during a ride to Point Lookout, Arielle wanted to do a "sexy" pose.  So, now you're going to be treated to a piece of bike porn:

Real Bike Porn

Usually, when cyclists talk about "bike porn," we mean images of drop-dead beautiful bikes with sinuous lines and lustrous colors.


However, I discovered a site called "Bike Porn" in which the term takes on new meanings.  It doesn't have pictures of Paola Pezzo and Filippo Pozato  in non-cycling positions.  It's all about art.  Really.

Bike Porn and Stuff I See From My Bike

I know that some cyclists' blogs include "bike porn."  I don't know that mine does.  If I have any kind of porn in this blog, I'd say that it's of land- and sea-scapes, skylines and people who may or may not have known that I photographed them.  


Perhaps the following photo doesn't qualify as any of the kinds of porn I've described.  But I did take some sort of perverse pleasure in taking it:

Aside from the actual or non-porn, there are things I see.  I'm trying not to turn this blog into Stuff I See When I'm Riding My Bike, but it may be going that way in spite of my efforts.  Here's an example of the genre, specifically something I saw yesterday:

To take a photo of this car without the light pole in it, I would have had to risk being flattened by the traffic.  I want to be skinnier than I am now, but that's not the way I had in mind.


At first glance, I thought I was looking at a Renault that had been left on a radiator.  Or, at least the front had been left there.  I rather liked the color--a shade of orange rather like a dusty vermilion.

Now, what the car was doing in front of a service station in Glendale, Queens, I'll never know.  I know that there are Polish and Albanian communities nearby, but not very many Romanians, as far as I know.  (Where are there very many Romanians outside of Romania?)  Even if Queens were full of emigres from Bucharest, I doubt there are very many who would have taken the trouble--or had the means--to bring a Dacia from their native land.


I did some quick research (translation:  I read a Wikipedia page) and learned that Dacia was founded during the 1960's with assistance from Renault.  Hmm...Romania gave France one of its best twentieth-century playwrights (Eugene Ionesco) and the French started their auto industry.  Who got the better of that trade?


Anyway, Dacia are still making cars.  In a not-too-surprising twist of fate, Renault bought the company.  The French automaker saw a growing market in the former Communist-bloc countries, and believed that Romania would make a good base of operations for their incursions into that market.  (Renault also makes cars in Turkey, among other places.)  


Now, while I'm out riding my bike and filling my brain with stuff that I'll turn into pointless ruminations, other people are slaving away over hot grills.

I've mentioned these guys on other posts in this and my other blog.  They make a chicken-and-rice platter to die for.  I'm not the only one who feels that way:  Once again, they won the "Vendy" award:

All I can say is that in the majority of the world, and through the majority of history, art is and has been utilitarian.