Maybe I am old. After all, I can recall a time when we didn't munch on "energy bars" or anything with the word "energy" in its name. In fact, such terms--let alone the often-inedible snacks they denoted--hadn't yet been invented.
At least, not as such. You see, there were other high-calorie bites that became our foods of choice when we needed a boost--and could be easily stowed in bike jersey pockets, tool bags or backpacks.
One was "gorp". Upon hearing of it for the first time, most people weren't sure of whether it was the sound of an alien swallowing or vomiting. But the word was actually an acronym for "Good Ol' Raisins and Peanuts"--not, as some believed, a synonym for "granola" or "trail mix", though gorp is certainly a type of trail mix. In time, people started mixing the raisins and peanuts with M&M's or other bits of chocolate. (I have always liked miniature nonpareils--milk chocolate in those days, dark chocolate now.) Often, almonds, pistachios, walnuts and other nuts were substituted for peanuts--which are legumes, not nuts--and dried cranberries, cherries, blueberries and other fruits for raisins.
We used to pack a couple of fistfuls of gorp, or other trail mix concoctions, into fold-top sandwich bags like the ones made by Glad. (If I recall correctly, Ziploc hadn't been invented.) We did the same with granola: Back then, nobody had thought to make grainy candy bars out of it.
Aside from those concoctions, the most popular proto-energy snack was probably the banana. In those days, I was riding with the Central Jersey Cycle Club and the Century Road Club. One--or both, perhaps?--used to designate their rides with bananas: a five-banana ride was long and/or involved a lot of climbing or other difficult conditions, while a one-banana ride was a "social" Sunday afternoon ride.
While granola and trail mix had more calories and could keep you feeling full until your lunch or dinner stop, the banana was easier to eat and swallow, especially if your mouth was dry. Also, although food allergies weren't as well-known, we knew that some people had trouble digesting, or simply ingesting, some of the concoctions I've mentioned. (Who knew that one of the most common allergies was to peanuts?) On the other hand, while banana allergies have been documented, they don't seem nearly as common. At least, I've never known anyone who couldn't eat bananas for that reason.
Bananas have one problem, though: While they're easy enough to stash, they're even easier to trash. And, in the process, they can trash whatever you stash them in. All right, that's a bit of an exaggeration. But if you're of my generation, you might have had a banana "explode" or "implode" in the pocket of your wool jersey. Needless to say, it made a mess.
Perhaps such a memory inspired the creator of this:
I mean, really. But, hey, it's versatile, right?:
Would this be allowed in states with a concealed-carry law?:
Then again, it's not that difficult to get a banana stain out of a pair of Levi's 501s. Trust me, I know!
Do you think this is a joke? Well, here's the real joke: the price.
At least, neither the bike--nor the banana--is electrical.
At least, not as such. You see, there were other high-calorie bites that became our foods of choice when we needed a boost--and could be easily stowed in bike jersey pockets, tool bags or backpacks.
One was "gorp". Upon hearing of it for the first time, most people weren't sure of whether it was the sound of an alien swallowing or vomiting. But the word was actually an acronym for "Good Ol' Raisins and Peanuts"--not, as some believed, a synonym for "granola" or "trail mix", though gorp is certainly a type of trail mix. In time, people started mixing the raisins and peanuts with M&M's or other bits of chocolate. (I have always liked miniature nonpareils--milk chocolate in those days, dark chocolate now.) Often, almonds, pistachios, walnuts and other nuts were substituted for peanuts--which are legumes, not nuts--and dried cranberries, cherries, blueberries and other fruits for raisins.
We used to pack a couple of fistfuls of gorp, or other trail mix concoctions, into fold-top sandwich bags like the ones made by Glad. (If I recall correctly, Ziploc hadn't been invented.) We did the same with granola: Back then, nobody had thought to make grainy candy bars out of it.
Aside from those concoctions, the most popular proto-energy snack was probably the banana. In those days, I was riding with the Central Jersey Cycle Club and the Century Road Club. One--or both, perhaps?--used to designate their rides with bananas: a five-banana ride was long and/or involved a lot of climbing or other difficult conditions, while a one-banana ride was a "social" Sunday afternoon ride.
While granola and trail mix had more calories and could keep you feeling full until your lunch or dinner stop, the banana was easier to eat and swallow, especially if your mouth was dry. Also, although food allergies weren't as well-known, we knew that some people had trouble digesting, or simply ingesting, some of the concoctions I've mentioned. (Who knew that one of the most common allergies was to peanuts?) On the other hand, while banana allergies have been documented, they don't seem nearly as common. At least, I've never known anyone who couldn't eat bananas for that reason.
Bananas have one problem, though: While they're easy enough to stash, they're even easier to trash. And, in the process, they can trash whatever you stash them in. All right, that's a bit of an exaggeration. But if you're of my generation, you might have had a banana "explode" or "implode" in the pocket of your wool jersey. Needless to say, it made a mess.
Perhaps such a memory inspired the creator of this:
I mean, really. But, hey, it's versatile, right?:
Would this be allowed in states with a concealed-carry law?:
Then again, it's not that difficult to get a banana stain out of a pair of Levi's 501s. Trust me, I know!
Do you think this is a joke? Well, here's the real joke: the price.
At least, neither the bike--nor the banana--is electrical.
