How many angels can dance on the head of a pin?
That was, apparently, the question-of-the-day (or -century or -millenium) among medieval theologians. If nothing else, it tells us that medieval theologians had lots of time on their hands. Somehow I suspect that modern theologians do, too!
Apparently, some physicists have idle hours as well. At least one took it upon himself to look for a possible answer to that question through a study of quantum gravity. Now, I last took a physics class before most of you were born. So, while I had a lot of fun reading the article, I can't tell you, exactly, what--besides its very premise--made it so amusing.
So now that I've waded into the territory of idle inquiries and can't get out (a black hole, perhaps?), I will plunge into another pointless probe.
Here goes: Is it possible to be a hipster and a pimp?
Such an inquest is not as impractical as it sounds. It actually has profound implications for the bicycle world.
After all, we really need to know whether it's possible to design a bike that will appeal to both a hipster and a pimp!
(Humor me and agree with the previous claim!)
A tiny company in Italy by the name of La Strana Officina may have given us the answer:
At first glance, it might look like one of any number of "hipster fixies" you can find in almost any first-world city. But the Cellini Uomo, to be fair, has touches won't find on very many other bikes.
As an example, the frame--made of TIG-welded from Nivacrom steel tubing--is bronzed before it is painted, in several stages. Care is taken so that the dropout is not covered, and that the matte black paint does not completely mute the lustre of the metal.
The handlebars are 24-karat gold-plated. So are the cable-housing ends! The handlebar covering on the right side is faux-python leather and the lever is, according to the company's website, of their own design, based on a joystick.
My favorite detail, though, is the gold anodizing on the pedals, which are built around titanium spindles. The classic Christophe clips are great, but I'm rather surprised that those aren't gold-plated, or at least anodized. That wouldn't be a deal-breaker for me (assuming, of course, I would buy such a bike). However, this would:
Even if I were to buy the bike as a wall decoration (in what kind of space, I don't know), I would not want wheels with "bread tie" spokes. They were a fad, mainly among mountain bikers, about twenty years ago. I never saw the point of them--and I don't even like the way they look. (Why they're on a "luxury" bike is beyond me.) Both wheels of Cellini Uomo are spoked that way. I guess if you were to order the bike, you could ask for a more conventional spoke pattern.
Somehow, though, I don't think a pimp or a hipster would care. And either or both of them is the intended audience for this bike. I'm not.
Note: The La Strana Officina website is only in Italian. I interpreted it as best I could.
Happy Fourth of July, a.k.a. US Independence Day!
There have been many, many bikes, accessories and articles of bike clothing adorned with the American Flag--or, at least, its color scheme. (I wasn't about to spell "color" "colour" in a Fourth of July post!) Many, of course, are cheesy or tacky. But some are quite nice.
One is this US National Track team bicycle from the 1990s:
I think it would look good in almost any environment. But whoever took the photo really did the bike--and its setting--justice. I love the way the "smoke" seems to come out of the front wheel in the mural.
Ironically, that photo was taken in Williamsburg, Brooklyn: the home of the "hipster fixie". Somehow, though, I don't think that bike was ridden by any hipster.
Anyway...Enjoy the day--and wish me a happy birthday. (Yes, our Founding Fathers seceded from the Crown just to be sure my birthday would be a national holiday. It says that somewhere in the Constitution, I think.)
Here's something for your hipsters in your life:
This comes to us from our friends at USJ Cycles in Selangor, Malaysia.
I know that I've ranted and railed against "hipster fixies," espcially their garish color schemes (if, indeed, they can be called "schemes). However, I rather liked this bike, which I saw on my way to work today:
For one thing, it cannot be properly considered a "hipster fixie." It is indeed a fixie, but its frame is from a department-store mountain bike. Plus, the bike is used for restaurant deliveries. Finally, the man who rides it is anything but a hipster: He's a Salvadorean immigrant who was happy that I took the photo.
I complimented the color scheme--which he did himself: al frente, la rueda roja con la llanta amarilla; y, a trasera, al reves. He complimented my Spanish, which makes him a truly nice man. (Really!)
Just for the sake of contrast, I propped Vera in the same spot after he left with the non-hipster fixie:
If you've cycled in New York, or any number of other cities, you've probably seen a "ghost bike." It's painted white, and is usually an old, donated or discarded, bike. This somber reminder of a cyclist who's been struck or killed by a motor vehicle is locked to a sign post or other structure by the site of the accident, and is accompanied by a small sign.
When I went to meet Lakythia for a ride yesterday, I saw one I'd seen many times before. Not to make light of it, but I couldn't help but to think, "Where else but in Williamsburg?"
The neighborhood is, after all, the de facto home of the "hipster fixie." As far as I know, this is the only bike of that genre to become a "ghost." It commemorates "Bronx Jon":
To Jon, or your family or friends: I mean no disrespect. I'm glad that you've been so memorialized. I think, though, that your memorial may well be one of a kind.
OK, I'll admit it: The real reason I've been denigrating all of those "hipster fixies" is that I've wanted one.
Well, now I've made my wish come true:
Happy April 1st!
I must say, I like the ride. But it's a little on the heavy side. So to keep its fine ride qualities, I'm going to do what we used to do back in the day to lighten up:
It just happens that someone gave me a nice old drill with some nice hard bits.
And all of us old-school cyclists know that "an ounce off the wheels is worth two off the frame." So if I like the ride now, imagine if I made the wheels lighter. And the tires...
I must say: The question never crossed my mind. But I got the answer to it today. Here it is: What if there had been hipsters during the '80's?
Might they have ridden a "fixie" like the Schwinn in the middle of this photo?
If they had, they might have borne the wrath of all the disdain I heaped upon that decade's young and annoying people: the yuppies.
Now, I've never been a yuppie or a hipster. Couldn't have been either, even if I'd wanted to. But I'll make a confession: Back in those days, I wore a cycling jacket in a pink just like the one on that bike. It was a rather nice jacket, actually.
You know that anyone who ends a sentence with "actually" isn't wearing a jacket in a color like that! Likewise, on the day I learned, in Sociology 101, that my family was "working class," I was no longer part of it. Now, what that's got to do with hipster fixies and yuppies and a jacket I wore twenty years ago, I don't know.
All I know is that if I'm rambling the way I just did after seeing a tacky bike in a shop, I've spent too many hours reading way too many student papers. Some of them were due months ago; I suppose I've been suffused with the "holiday spirit." Plus, I don't want to deny any student whose "sob story" may actually be true. I mean, what if some freshman's grandmother died for the fifth time this year?
If she did, she sure won't be riding that bike in the picture. Me, I wouldn't be caught dead on it. But you probably knew that already.
I've seen trust-fund kids wearing Mao and Che T-shirts--which, when you think about them, are a bit oxymoronic. Perhaps that's not as much a contradiction as having or pursuing tenure while professing Marxism. (I guess my ex's family, who escaped from Castro, still influences me after all!) And some genius thought that a song about the apocalypse was just the thing to sell cars. I love the song (and most others by the artist who wrote and sang it); I just thought it was odd to hear in a VW commercial.
So I guess I shouldn't have been surprised to see a porteur-style rack on the front of a "hipster fixie." I wish I could've taken a photo of it. But almost as soon as I saw it, the bike's owner unlocked it and bolted down Broadway. Even if I'd had enough time to take a photo, I wouldn't have been able to take a very good photo, as I didn't have my camera with me.
But it was quite the sight: all neon colors, except for the flat black rack on the front.
I suppose I shouldn't be surprised. Some "hipster fixies" are actually used for transportation, and even to haul stuff, although they're not the best bikes for the purpose. And, within a certain segment of the population, it's hip to have a porteur rack. Still, the combination doesn't seem right.
Mind you, I am not a purist, at least not about most things. When I realized how silly and futile it is to preserve racial purity, which is a fiction anyway, I lost whatever desire I had to uphold homogeneity.
All right, I'll admit to being a purist about a few things. I still don't think that pineapple belongs on pizza or chocolate chips in bagels. (Actually, that's the New Yorker in me.) And, all other things being equal, I'd rather mount merrie olde English Brooks saddles and hang equally merrie-olde Carradice bags on my even-more-merrie-olde-English Mercian frames. But if you looked at my bikes, you'd see that, even though they have lugged steel frames, they're not entirely "retro," which is something I've never tried to make my bikes.
Still, I'm trying to wrap my mind around the idea of a hipster fixie with a porteur rack.
I didn't ride today. It rained heavily this morning. My unwritten personal policy is that I don't start a ride in the rain unless I absolutely must; however, if there appears to be some risk or rain, I'll ride and accept the consequences.
Besides, having done my ride to the Delaware Water Gap on Sunday and about 35 miles on my fixed-gear yesterday, I feel as if I've done some quality cycling. So, today, I took care of some business, which included getting a manicure and pedicure. My nails were hideous! Then I met with some members of the advisory committee of SAGE. I might be working with them, as a volunteer, in the fall.
Perhaps I'm not noticing them, but there didn't seem to be as many of the "hipster fixies" on the streets of lower Manhattan as I'd been seeing in recent years. Now, I'm always glad to see people riding bikes, whatever those bikes are. Still, I hope that some riders will get onto bikes that are prettier or more useful than what they're riding.
Every once in a while, I'll get into a conversation with a hipster who tries to convince me that my bike will look "cooler" or "nicer" if I install a pair of wheels with Day-Glo-colored V-shaped rim and other parts and accessories in various eye-burning hues. While both of my Mercians are finished with paint that turns purple, green or silver--depending on how the light hits it or how you look at it, though it's purple more often than not--it's actually rather elegant and understated in a similar way to the "fade" paint jobs (something I normally abhor) on the old Swiss Mondia bicycles. And I prefer to stick with classic and classy parts in silver or black,and to have a touch of additional color in an accessory like a bag or handlebar wrap.
Maybe I'm just getting old and conservative. Then again, I've never wanted a tatoo, not even when I was hanging out with punk rockers back in the day. I guess I never was a hipster or one of its predecessors. Somehow I don't think I missed much.
Anyway...Tomorrow I'm going to ride. I don't know what, how or where, but I plan on it.
