When Is A Bicycle "Irrelevant"?

I was intrigued by the headline:  Woman Flees Police On Irrelevant Bicycle.

It got me to wondering:  What, exactly, is an irrelevant bicycle?  Is it one that can't be ridden anymore?  Or is "Irrelevant" a brand?  (Now that would be terrible marketing!)

Turns out, said velocipede matched the description of one that was stolen in Hilo, Hawaii.  That is why cops pursued its rider--29-year-old Maria Duquette.  I probably would have believed, as they did, that she stole the bike, which she used to lead the gendarmes in a wild chase through Hilo Town to the Hilo Bay Front.  There, she ditched the wheels and jumped into the water.  

She swam, and cops lost sight of her.  A helicopter and boat search didn't yield any sign of her.  Later, though, someone saw her on Coconut Island.  She tried, again, to swim away, but officers pursued her into the ocean and took her into custody.  She was charged with traffic violations related to the chase and disobeying an officer's direction.

So they got their perp.  But, as it turned out, the bicycle wasn't the one that was reported stolen.  I guess that's what the headline writer meant by "irrelevant"--to the investigation.

As some of you might know, newspaper headlines are almost never written by the person who wrote the article.  I am sure that such was the case for the story and title I've linked.  I feel sorry for whoever wrote the article:  When I wrote for a newspaper, a few of my articles bore titles (not written by me, of course!) that were silly or even irrelevant.

How Not To Go To Court

A guy has a court hearing.  He rides a bike to it.

This could mean he doesn't have a car or can't drive.  Or, perhaps, it's the easiest and most convenient way to get there.  Another possibility is that he's trying to turn his life around by getting sober and exercising.

That last possibility seems plausible given that one of the charges against him is drug possession.  

But he arrives late.   All right, maybe he got lost or got a flat along the way.  Or there might be some other reason.  Perhaps it might have to do with the stolen property he's was charged with receiving.

Turns out, that stolen property included a chainsaw, an iPhone and groceries--in addition to an adult tricycle and two bicycles.

Oh, and those two bikes aren't the only stolen wheels he's had in his possession.  When he arrived at the courthouse in Laconia, New Hampshire, police detained upon the request of police in nearby Gilford.

Two nights previous, there'd been a break-in at Piche's Ski & Sport Shop on Gilford Avenue.  Guess what was taken during that burglary.  

Jeffrey T. Wyatt, a local transient, admitted knowing that the bike he rode to the courthouse--valued at $1800--was stolen.  He denied, however, any involvement in the burglary.

In addition to the thefts, receiving stolen property and drug possession, he also has charges of threatening with a deadly weapon, criminal trespass and willful concealment pending against him before he was arrested at the court house--for arriving on a stolen bicycle.