Only In Florida? Only In Miami?

As the 2000 US Presidential Election showed us, there are some things that happen "only in Florida".  Or so it seems.

Then there are those things that, according to Floridians, happen "only in Miami."

"Only in Miami":  That exclamation came from a driver who recorded the scene in the video.

he comin’ pic.twitter.com/0muiV6cRHm

— Florida Man (@_FloridaMan) March 3, 2019

From what we can see, the man on the bike was wearing only a headband, hot pink socks and what looks like a thong--as he's weaving in and out of traffic on Interstate 95.  

According to news reports, it's not the first time he's done such a thing.  But this time, according to various accounts, he "upped his game":  He rode backwards.

Naked and backwards.  Hmm...That describes a few things done in South Beach clubs.  But by a cyclist--on I-95?

Naked Bike Ride In Portsmouth

I have cycled up several Alpine and Pyrennean peaks, as well as mountains in Vermont, Pennsylvania, California, Nevada and upstate New York.  And I am not boasting when I say that I've done other things most people wouldn't try.  As a result, some people say that I have courage.

If I do, it has its limits.  You see, there's something I'm not quite ready to do yet:  a naked bike ride.

Naked bike rides are held all over the world.  However, one place I think I'd like to take such a ride is Portsmouth, England, which will host one on 24 May.

Portsmouth is on the south coast of England and is the only island city of the UK.  According to some surveys, it has the largest percentage of LGBT people of any city in the country.  And it's also considered, perhaps not coincidentally, as one of Albion's centers of environmental and "green" movements.

That last fact has a lot to do with the ride:  Its organizers want to call attention to unsustainable fossil fuel use as well as other practices that are ruinous to our planet.

I love the idea although I'm not sure, exactly, of what a naked bike ride has to do with environmentalism.  Maybe it has to do with riding in our natural state.  Then again, the riders paint their bodies and wear things we don't bring with us into this world. 

Anyway, I wish all the folks in Portsmouth a good ride!

N.B.:  The photos in this post are from last year's Naked Ride in Portsmouth.

Topless Or Fat-Bottomed?

If you're my age, or older, you remember the hoopla that accompanied the release of Queen's album Jazz.  It's the one that includes, among other songs, "Bicycle Race" and "Fat Bottomed Girls", which were also released as a "double-A side" single record.  

To promote the record and album, Queen staged a bicycle race with 65 nude young women:

I'm in the third row, fifth from the left.

As you can imagine, they had to retouch that photo (There was no Photoshop in those days!) any number of times to keep from running afoul of various local decency laws.  

Fast-forward thirty-five years:  Within the past month, dozens of municipalities--including Portland, San Francisco and Mexico City--staged massive nude bike rides.

I was almost tempted to find such a ride.  The weather has been so hot here!  That got me to thinking about one thing I can't do now that I could do until a few years ago.

You guessed it:  riding topless!  Actually, back when I was the "before" photo, I very rarely rode without a jersey or some other kind of top.  For one thing, I have always looked better with clothes than without. (Most people do. Trust me, I know!)  But, more to the point, I have fair skin and therefore burn easily.  And I always found sunburn on my shoulders, neck and back to be particularly painful. That, by the way, is also the reason why I almost never rode in a tank top or sleeveless jersey.  

But, one day, I just might ride au naturel.  If I'm doing it with a hundred other cyclists, maybe nobody will notice.  They just might compliment my bike!