Deconstruct This

I don’t spend a lot of time in hipster restaurant.  So when I read some of their menus I am, frankly, baffled.

To wit, I see words that I would never associate with food,
whether in preparing, presenting or eating it.  For example, on one menu, I saw a “deconstructed cheesscake.” Now, perhaps I’m not ironic (or something) enough, but I would think that the act of creating a comestible or serving it has more to do with construction than deconstructed.  So, if I order a “deconstructed cheesecake,” will the server bring me cream cheese, ricotta, eggs, sugar, vanilla extract, cinnamon, graham crackers (uncrumbled, of course) and cherries or blueberries?  

Oh, wait, that  server couldn’t bring me graham crackers: He or she would have to bring the ingredients.  No ricotta or cream cheese, either: only the milk, rennet and cultures.

If I were to go to a hipster bike shop, would they try to sell me a deconstructed bike?

15

A Ride Inside

One of my most interesting—and gratifying—bike rides took me through a tunnel.

The day before, I’d pedaled up the Alpe d’Huez, with a few hundred other riders, before it was closed for the Tour de France peloton.  I was riding southeast, toward Italy, along a narrow Alpine road.  Ahead of me , I saw a sign:  Route Baree.  A gendarme directed traffic—which, at that moment, consisted of a Citroen and me—away.

I watched the Citroen turn   toward a wider road.  I looked at my Michelin map. (That’s what we used before GPS.). I could see a couple of  roads that trailed off in fields or forests.  So I followed the trail of the Citroen to a road that, according to the map, led to a mountain.  But it didn’t seem to go up or around the col.

After a few minutes of riding, I saw a bottleneck—at the mouth of the tunnel.  There was another sign: that Caution! Caution! Eclairage Interrupte.

The rockslides that blocked the other road caused power outages.  So that tunnel—about half a kilometer long—was very dark. I had a headlight, but it was more for being seen than to see.  

Oh—and the two lanes that passed through that tunnel looked about half as wide as a single American lane.  One of the lanes was closed.  And there was no shoulder.

Traffic stopped at the entrance.  So did I.  A man emerged from the first car.

“Allez,” He motioned to the other drivers. “Nous vous suivrons. Pouvez rouler sur le chemin de nos phares.”

I rode through that tunnel—in the wake of their headlights. None of those drivers honked, and all of them drove behind me all the way through that tunnel.

I thought of that ride  when I heard about the Round and Round the Underground Race. On 29 March, several hundred riders will thrust and twist their way through the Springfield Underground, a limestone mine in Missouri.

As far as I know, none of those riders will have to worry about lighting.



Somehow it seems less daunting than a ride through the subway tunnels of my home town!

Like A Fish Needs A Bicycle

We've all heard the expression, "when pigs fly."

What's less likely than an airborne porker?

Now to a really important question:  Should that pig wear lipstick?