What Did Your First Bike Cost?

 Someone, I forget who, told me, “The really rich never pay for anything.”

I guess Harry and Meghan, even though they stepped away from some of the Royal life’s trappings (which really trapped some!), qualify. Their son just got a new bike for his birthday and neither his mum nor his dad had to shell out shillings, dole out dollars or proffer their platinum (or whatever level of credit card accrues to Royals).

You see, a shop in their current hometown—Montecito, California—gave the bike, gratis.  This act of generosity came to light when the shop publicized the “thank you” note the couple (or one of their assistants) sent.

Such a move, of course,’ garners publicity. Most of it was positive, but some believe that the shop should have donated the bike to a kid needier than lil’ Archie.

Call me wishy-washy,‘but I can sympathize with both sides.  Businesses gift celebrities everything from bagels to ‘Benzes and gardenias to gala gowns. The publicity usually pays off and, I imagine, enables some creators and entrepreneurs to give their wares to those less fortunate. Still, if someone has to choose between giving to the rich or the poor, I would rather that the gift goes to someone who might not have it otherwise.

Then again, I can understand why—alert from being in their hometown—why the shop would give a bike to a royal tyke: It’s called Mad Dogs & Englishmen.

Easy Choices In The Big Easy

 People go to New Orleans to do things they can’t, or wouldn’t, do at home.

So it makes sense that tomorrow, at 5pm, the World Naked Bike Ride will take place in the Crescent City.

Now, being the sort of rider I am, one of the first questions I ask before alighting is:  What should I wear?

Nola.com has answered that question: Sunscreen. Glitter. Tiaras and top hats. Feathers. Slogans painted on your body. Band-aids. Cowboy boots and hats,  The beautiful Crown Royal sac. Even bikini bottoms and bikinis are allowed. Oh, and let us not forget Pride symbols. Just don’t think you’re being “ironic” if you show up in a Brooks Brothers suit or dress! 

I Didn’t Listen

 During the pandemic, I have steadfastly followed the directives and advice from health authorities.  I’ve kept my vaccinations up to date and still practice social distancing as much as I can.

Today, however, I didn’t follow the advice of those who know better: I went for a bike ride.

Granted, it wasn’t a long or strenuous ride:  about 50 kilometers, by my reckoning, along waterfronts, back streets and industrial areas of Queens and Brooklyn.  It was flat but a fairly brisk wind blew—and I was riding my fixed gear.

The health authorities have advised against “strenuous” outdoor activity.  I don’t think my ride qualifies, although some authorities might disagree.

The reason for that bit of advice have to do with fires in Canada. And the wind here, and in much of eastern North America, has been blowing from the north.  As a result, this city is thick with smoke.

I don’t recall a fog so thick that it rendered the Manhattan skyline as barely-visible from Long Island City or Greenpoint as it is today.

Even the sun is no match for the ashen shroud in the sky.

Seeing a boat emerge from the enfumed vista made me wonder whether Charon was ferrying people from one realm to another.

Of course, today’s scene might be nothing more than this.