Now Why Didn't I Think Of That?

Hey, I found it!  The miracle cure!

For what?, you ask.

Cravings for drugs, alcohol, sex and Friends.

The cure is really, really simple--and you might even have it on your iPhone.

All right, I'll tell you what it is: playing Tetris.

I'm not kidding:  that is the conclusion of a research team.  According to their findings, "cognitive interference"  can be used to reduce cravings for substances and addictive behaviors.

Of course, a term like "cognitive interference" could only be coined by someone trying to get or keep a research grant (or by someone paid to explain how a celebrity ran over some unfortunate soul).  In plain English, it means "distraction":  Playing Tetris deflects your attention away from eating pizzas, drinking beer, making love or the "He's her lobster!" episode.

Believe it or not, greater minds than the ones who discovered "cognitive interference" have come up with even more ludicrous conclusions from funded research.

As an example, the esteemed fellows at the National Highway Traffic Administration have figured out how to prevent 90 percent of all bicycle accidents.  Their conclusion is so simple, and so commonsensical that I wondered how I didn't come up with it myself.

According to lead researcher Dr. Laura Gafferty, "Our data confirm that the vast majority of cyclist injuries can be avoided by driving an automobile instead of biking around like some weirdo."  She added that while bicycle riding is perfectly acceptable for children under 12, it isn't recommended for any adult who isn't competing in the Tour de France.  "Regular people drive cars because it's the normal and not the abnormal thing to do," she explained. If every cyclist drove a car "like you're supposed to as an adult", cycling-related fatalities would "drop by 40 percent in the first six months alone," she claimed.

Her team's study was published in that most respected of all journals:  The Onion.

The New Station Wagon?

Whenever someone mentions "suburban family", my mind still conjures an image of a mother driving a station wagon full of kids.

At least, that was the sort of suburban family I saw--and my Brooklyn family became--when we moved to New Jersey right about the time I was hitting puberty (my first).  

These days, it seems that suburban families don't have as many kids.  (Actually, that's the case for families in most places in the US.)  Paradoxically, as family size has shrunk, motor vehicles have gotten larger:  Families that used to shuttle between school, the mall, kids' practices and home in station wagons are now getting around in SUVs.

Well, maybe not all of them.  

You can see more families like them on the Madsen Bike blog.  

I'm told those kids eat healthy snacks:

Note:  This is not an endorsement of Madsen bikes, as I know almost nothing about them.  I like the idea behind them, though!

Musical Cycles

I have admonished other cyclists for riding with earbuds.

They can be divided into two categories:  those who didn't or couldn't hear me, and those who didn't listen.

Riders in the former category just went on their merry way.  But the latter sometimes caused havoc--or yelled things that I won't repeat here.

Although I don't think cyclists should ride with earphones, I understand the desire to hear music while pedaling.  The best minds in this world are working on a solution.  So far, the best they've come up with is this:

If You Really Want To Ride In Belgium...

This day is called Veterans' Day in the US.  As I have said in other posts, as much as I want to end war and not to glorify it, I think veterans should be honored.  To my mind, that means they should never want for anything.  It's a disgrace that some are sleeping under highway overpasses.

This day was formerly known as Armistice Day.  As I understand, it still is in much of Europe.  Ninety-nine years ago today, the agreement was signed to "end" the "war to end all wars".

Then, as now, recruiters used cleverly deceptive and deceptively clever appeals such as this:

to get young men to sign up for this:

Ted Henderson, a Canadian soldier in the First Division Cycle Corps, would remember his steed thusly:

Ode to a Pedal Pusher

We often recall the old C.C.M.
The first old steed we rode
Withits coaster brake and streamlined frame
And one rear rack for our load.

(Images from Canadian Cycling)

The Ban On Motorized Bikes In NYC

It's not often that cyclists and motorists agree on something, at least here in New York.

Then again, lots of other people who are neither motorists nor cyclists agree with us, at least when it comes to one thing.

I am talking about motorized bicycles.  Like many other New Yorkers, I have had a close encounters with them--including a time when a rider grazed my elbow when I was walking on a sidewalk around the corner from my apartment.

The rider was, like most motorized bikers, making a delivery for a restaurant.  Just after my encounter with him, he parked the bike.  I tried to talk to him, but we didn't speak any of the same languages.  So I went to the owner of the restaurant, who promised to talk to the guy and the rest of his delivery crew.

That the driver parked so soon after the near-miss, and that I therefore knew for whom he was working, made me more fortunate than others who've had similar encounters with motorized bikes.  So is the fact that I sometimes patronize the restaurant and the owner recognized me.  And, of course, the fact that I wasn't hurt.

Others, though, haven't been so lucky.  And I nearly crashed on my bike once when a motorized biker made a sudden turn in front of me.

More than a few stories like mine, and worse, have no doubt reached the Mayor's office during the past few years.  Perhaps as a response,  Bill de Blasio  recently announced a crackdown on motorized bikes.  When police officers have stopped motorized biker, in some cases, the biker has received a ticket.  Henceforth, said the Mayor, the city will fine owners of restaurants whose delivery workers use the bikes.

Now, I'm not a lawyer, but I have to wonder how that mandate is carried out.  You see, while it's illegal to operate such bikes in the five boroughs of New York--get this--it's not illegal to own one.  I would guess that some delivery workers own their wheels, but the vast majority of bikes are owned by the owners of the restaurants and other businesses who employ the delivery workers.  So, I have to wonder what will be the charge(s) against the business owners who are fined.

Does that mean the burden of penalties will fall to the riders, most of whom are eking out a living?  

Also, it's been pointed out that some delivery workers, mainly the older ones, can't pedal through an entire shift because of injuries or other debilitating conditions.  De Blasio expressed hope that such workers "could find some other kind of work with that restaurant or business."  There are two problems with that:  1.) Most of the restaurants and businesses are small and have few, if any, other jobs, and 2.) Most of the delivery workers are immigrants, many of whom don't speak English, lack other skills or don't have the documentation necessary to get other employment.

That said, I certainly think motorized bikes should not be allowed on sidewalks and bike lanes.  Ideally, I'd like to see them barred from the streets, too, but implementing such a ban might prove more difficult than the Mayor realizes.