Everything Except The Motor

In the 1960's and 1970's, there was a genre of bikes, at least here in the US, aimed at kids (boys, mainly) by emulating a motorcycle as much as one could without using a motor.

These bikes were often called "muscle bikes" and featured high, wide handlebars, "banana" seats, wide tires and, if they had multiple gears, "stick" controls mounted on the top tube.  (I wonder whether the latter accounted for the decrease in birth rates after the 1970s.)  Examples of such bikes included the Raleigh "Chopper" and the Schwinn "Krate" and "Sting Ray" bikes.

Even the designers of those bikes, however, did not go as far as whoever modified this one:

 

What You See Depends On Your Vantage Point

 Philosophical question of the day:  Is a groundhog more likely to see his* shadow as an active cyclist

or as a passenger?

I ask because today the critters didn't get their stories straight:  Punxsawtney Phil, the most famous groundhog, saw his shadow, but our local forecaster, Staten Island Chuck, saw his.  According to Phil, there are still six more weeks of Winter, but Chuck says Spring is arriving early.

Which one glimpsed from the saddle, and which one got his view from a basket?

*--It seems that all of the groundhogs consulted for the seasonal forecast are male.  Does that mean that only they have the power to predict?  Or could it be that it's a big deal when they rise from hibernation because the females have been awake all along?

"Real" Men...

Sometimes I feel the Reagan administration had truly arrived when Real Men Don't Eat Quiche was published.

Of course, Bruce Feirstein wrote it tongue-in-cheek. (After all, a real man never would have written such a book, right?) It spawned all sorts of "real men don't" and "real men do" lists.

So what does--or doesn't--a "real" man ride?

Far be it from me to tell you what a "real" man needs, or doesn't, need.  While "real" men might not need motors, more than a few dudes I know absolutely revere pistons.

(Tell me "I'm in Love With My Car" isn't a masturbation song.)

Now, I will state with absolute certainty that the sentiment expressed on the T-shirt is right. Moreover (Would a "real" man ever use such a word?), I can tell you, with absolute certainty, that real men ride steel frames.   

As if I know about "real" men....