How Many Riders In An Event?

One of the most cynical comments ever made came from Joseph Stalin:  "If one man dies of hunger, that is a tragedy. If millions die, that's only statistics."

It does raise a valid question, though:  How many people constitute a "gathering?"  During the COVID-19 pandemic, the answer is literally life-and-death.

It seems that in most jurisdictions, that number is ten. (Coincidentally, that is the number it takes to make a minyan for a Jewish service or quorum for organizational meetings.)  A few places have raised that number to 50 or more; but for now that number seems to be ten.

What that means, of course, is that most sporting events and rallies are out of the question, with or without spectators.  Every annual or otherwise periodic bike ride I know of has been canceled or postponed for this year.  That includes the Portland Naked Bike Ride, originally scheduled for 27 June.

The thing is, public nudity is illegal in Portland, as it is in most places in the United States.  But the city allows the event to go on every year because of its official status as a protest.  The ride attracts around 10,000 riders a year and no police force, no matter how numerous or well-equipped, could cite or arrest all of them.  So the Portland police allow them to ride as long as they stay on the route with the rest of the riders.  

Now, one nude bike rider, that's a different story.  Comedian Trevor Noah brought up this point when ride organizers announced they are "encouraging everyone to go out and ride naked on their own."  Noah asked the most pertinent question: "Is that gonna work?"   He explained that if "there's 10,000 naked bike riders, that's an event."  But, he continued, " if there's one naked dude on a ten-speed?  You just nasty."



 
(part about Portland Naked Bike Ride begins at 3:00)
More to the point, though, an individual or even a small group of riders might not enjoy the same level of safety a mass of thousands would have.

So just how many riders does it take to make an event?  Can Trevor Noah answer that?

Maybe, After Buying The Bike, She Couldn't Afford The Outfit

Some folks have nightmares about showing up for a ride in the "wrong" outfit.  Never mind having a flat or other bicycle malfunction:  They worry about not wearing the right team kit, or cycling clothes that are "out".  Or--horrror of horrors!--embarking on a ride clad in "civilian" clothes.

Time was when I had such fears.  These days, I ride either whatever I think will be most comfortable or strikes my fancy.  The only bike-specific garments I now own are gloves (Do they count?) and a couple of pairs of cold-weather tights.  

Worrying about whether you have the "right" bike clothes is what might be called a "first world" problem:  more specifically, one endemic to certain segments of cyclists in the developed world.

I'm not sure that children anywhere worry much about what they wear when they're riding.  Their nightmares might have to do with not wearing clothes at all:  Children often wake up in terror after going to school or some other place, naked, in their dream-world.

Unfortunately, for one 4-year-old boy in Gastonia, North Carolina, such a nightmare was all too real.  At half past midnight on Thursday, he was seen riding his bike naked, in the middle of the road in front of--are you ready for this?--a nightclub.

The temperature was 5C (40F), but the air was dry. So, after emergency crews treated him, he was OK.

Things didn't end so well for his mother, though.  She now faces charges of child abuse and resisting her arrest.

In an earlier post, I wrote about Naked Bike Rides.  I don't think this is what they had in mind, though!

Disguised For A Naked Bike Ride

Naked Bike Rides are held in London and a number of other cities every year.

Some riders paint their bodies, while others get onto their bikes the way they came into this world, except bigger.  The only requirements seem to be that participants are riding a bicycle and not wearing clothes.

I am sure at least a few riders cover themselves as soon as the ride ends.  Somehow, though, I doubt that any have done what a man in Wilton Manors, Florida did.



The unidentified chap was riding, naked, down a local street.  Police were called.

Then the guy entered a local store, put on an article of clothing and told an employee he was trading the bicycle for the garment.  

Oh, but it gets even better:  When he got outside, he took off the article of clothing and exposed himself to passerby.  

The cops showed up.  He wouldn't give his name.  And the constables couldn't ID him because, well, he didn't have any ID on him.  After all, we don't come into this world with a musette bag.

He was arrested and charged with "lewd and lascivious conduct" and "obstruction by disguised person."

That second charge, I don't understand  Then again, since most of us wear clothes most of the time, I guess going au naturel could be a "disguise."  After all, there aren't many people who know what most of us look like without our clothes on.

Now, if the guy had kept the bike, he could have finished his ride naked--and, perhaps, evaded the cops!  And he wouldn't have needed to disguise himelf.

Naked Bike Ride In Portsmouth

I have cycled up several Alpine and Pyrennean peaks, as well as mountains in Vermont, Pennsylvania, California, Nevada and upstate New York.  And I am not boasting when I say that I've done other things most people wouldn't try.  As a result, some people say that I have courage.

If I do, it has its limits.  You see, there's something I'm not quite ready to do yet:  a naked bike ride.

Naked bike rides are held all over the world.  However, one place I think I'd like to take such a ride is Portsmouth, England, which will host one on 24 May.

Portsmouth is on the south coast of England and is the only island city of the UK.  According to some surveys, it has the largest percentage of LGBT people of any city in the country.  And it's also considered, perhaps not coincidentally, as one of Albion's centers of environmental and "green" movements.

That last fact has a lot to do with the ride:  Its organizers want to call attention to unsustainable fossil fuel use as well as other practices that are ruinous to our planet.

I love the idea although I'm not sure, exactly, of what a naked bike ride has to do with environmentalism.  Maybe it has to do with riding in our natural state.  Then again, the riders paint their bodies and wear things we don't bring with us into this world. 

Anyway, I wish all the folks in Portsmouth a good ride!

N.B.:  The photos in this post are from last year's Naked Ride in Portsmouth.