Hiding Its Power

Cheaters want to win--and not get caught. So they find ways to conceal the ways in which they cut corners.

I don't cheat.  So how can I speak with such authority about cheaters and cheating?  Don't ask! 😉

Seriously, though:  How many ads have you seen for drugs that can't be detected or teas, potions or other things that will make whatever you drank, ingested or smoked the night before "undetectable?" 

Although Jacques Anquetil supposedly said that no one wins the Tour de France on salad and mineral water and the only rider to have won the Tour more often than the "gentle giant" had all of his victories voided because he aimed for "better living through chemistry," taking banned or simply risky or questionable substances is not the only way racers and other athletes have tried to gain unfair advantages.

Over the past few years, riders have been caught with "boosters" concealed in various parts of their bikes.  I am not naive enough to think that all of the riders hiding mechanical and electronic "aids" in whichever parts of their bikes--or clothes or bodies--have been detected.  And, given a development I've just become aware of, I wouldn't be surprised that more will choose not to play by the rules.

Quella, a British company known for urban single-speed bikes (what some call "cafe racers) has developed a line of such machines that aren't what they seem, at least to the uninitated.  At first glance, it might seem like another bike from its flagship Varsity line. (Interesting, isn't it, that it shares a model name with one of the most-maligned and best-selling bikes of all time?)  Actually, it is--except for the rear hub, which is larger in diameter than what one normally finds on such a bike.  Inside that hub are a battery, torque sensor, GPS, Bluetooth and motor.

Yes, you read that right.  That bike has an electric assist, but tries to hide it. Now, of course, I don't think it would get by a race registrar or commissaire but, if someone could figure out a way to fit everything I mentioned into a hub, I am sure that, in time, someone will figure out a way to make such a hub look like the more slender ones we are accustomed to seeing on such bikes.  After all, your Android or iPhone has more capacity than the computers that took the Apollo astronauts to the moon and back.

Also, I imagine that the sensors and motor can be made more powerful, and able to go for longer distances and periods of time on a single charge.  The current system will only push a rider up to 15 MPH with 40Nm of torque--and has a maximum range of about 40 miles on a single charge.  So, this system will only help riders on short rides over flat terrain--which is how such bikes are usually ridden anyway.  

But if (or perhaps I should say when) the engineers figure out how to make the assist go faster and further on a single charge, this system could be a temptation or a boon (depending on your point of view) for some racer who needs a little edge and believes he or she won't get caught--or that the rules or their enforcement will change.

A Beacon Or Deterrent To Thieves

If you live in an urban area (in the US, anyway), you've probably seen bikes with tacky or simply ugly paint glopped or blotched on them.  

The bikes' owners so deface them in order to make them less appealing to would-be thieves.

However, some argue that it can have exactly the opposite effect:  Crooks, they say, know that the bike must be good if someone made such an effort to make them visually unappetizing.  

In any event, the bike in the photo turned out to be,  on closer inspection, just a typical '70's Bike Boom ten-speed turned into a single-speed.  It's perfectly reliable transportation, I'm sure, but nothing special. Or, at least, it's not special enough that its owner had to make it seem less special.
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Urban Bicycle Anthropology--Or Is It Archaelogy?

There are bikes on encounters, it seems, only when they are locked to sign posts or parking meters in large cities.

Talk about a Frankenbike!  This is a Schwinn Varsity, circa 1974-75.  I base those dates on the color and the fact that Schwinn was offering it around that time, which was when I first started to work in bicycle shops.


That a Schwinn Varsity or Continental of that vintage is being used for a city transport bike is not unusual.  I had a continental, and I recall what a tank it was.  And, it was a "lightweight" bike:  The Varsity was, if I recall correctly, about three or four pounds heavier.


Well, someone lightened this Varsity.  It has alloy rims and Continental Gator Skin tires. (I know those tires are not lightweights, but compared to the original equipment, they're helium balloons. )  And those bars--they alone save about two pounds over the original equipment!  I know they're not the originals because they're alloy.  That alone would have halved the original weight, but then most of the bar was cut away.

Is the bike's owner a messenger? Can't be a hipster:  The bike still has its derailleurs.  They're the originals, in fact:  Schwinn-branded Huret Allvit on the rear and a Schwinn-branded Huret on the front.  What's really strange, though, are the shifters.  Yes, they are also the originals, but stem-mounted shifters really look strange with those bars--and brake levers.


And on this bike we find the ultimate weight-saving measure:  no saddle.  Yes, that has to be at least two pounds of avoirdupois excised from the ensemble.  Believe it or not, I've actually seen cyclists ride without saddles.  The thing is, nobody believes you when you tell them that's how you lost your virginity!


Anyway...I concede the seat might have been stolen. However, when one sees a parked bike without a seat (but with a seatpost remaining in the frame), it's usually starting to decay, and is often missing other parts.  So I'm wondering whether the bike's owner removed the seat when he/she parked the bike.  Usually, though, when cyclists remove their seats, they take the seat post, too, because their bikes have quick release clamps.  Whoever removed the saddle of from this Varsity must have used a tool of some sort.  Given that the bike has good tires and fancy brake levers, perhaps the seat is a Brooks or something similar.


Ok,I'll admit it:  I must be a real bike geek if I can look at a parked bike and speculate as much as I have about how it might have come to be what it is now.