On The Eve Of The Eve

This is the night before Christmas Eve.  Some time in my childhood, I heard that this is the night Santa gets his reindeer fleet ready to bring Christmas presents to everyone in the world (well, everybody who's been good, anyway) at exactly midnight.

Did those preparation involve polishing Rudolph's nose?  Checking its battery or whatever makes it shine?  No one ever explained that to me.  For that matter, I never heard much explanation of anything involving Christmas.

I'm not complaining.  I was told stranger things as a child and things stranger still--in fact, outright implausible--as an adult.  No one explained those things, either.

Whatever the story is about Santa and the reindeer, I know lots of people are getting ready for tomorrow night in various ways.  I saw a couple preparing their steeds. They did not want to be photographed, but their steeds had no say in the matter:

Any restaurant or other establishment that delivers food is going to be very, very busy tomorrow night.  That includes the guys who ride these bikes--for Sanfords Restaurant, just two blocks from my apartment.  

I actually saw one changing the battery in his "blinkie".  Would Rudolph have one on his nose if the story were being concocted today?  Would there be LEDs inside his nasal globe?  And would he need something on his tail as well?  After all, most places require that vehicles have front and rear lights.  Hmm...Is a reindeer a vehicle?  If so, would it be road, off-road or something else?  700C, 650B, 26 X whatever or a 29er?

Workshops Or Boutiques For The Holiday Season?

Recently, I've devoted a couple of post to bicycles made into Christmas ornaments, or bicycle-themed holiday decorations.  And, I know that as I write, there are bike rides in progress that wend their way along streets of highly-decorated houses and stores.


 

All of that got me to thinking about how--and whether--bicycle shops are decorated for the holiday season.

 


In many shops, you'll find garland winding through wheels of display bikes, frames festooned with strings of lights and orbs hanging from handlebars and other bike parts.  A few have more creative, or at least elaborate, displays.  

In my experience, the most decorated shops are the ones catering to two ends of the bike market spectrum--kids and rich yuppies. I know, because I have worked in both types of shops.

 

I've also worked in shops that sold high-quality bikes, parts and accessories that were neither flashy or cheap, and were run by honest--though, perhaps, grumpy--mechanics.  At one such shop, said grumpy mechanic/proprietor gave me some small tools in a metal Band-Aid box with a red bow stuck on top of it.  I am told that I received the most elaborately-packaged gift he gave anybody that year.  Perhaps I don't need to say that his shop was about as decorated as Kim Kardashian is clothed on any given day.


It was the sort of shop in which you had your wheels built or frame prepped, if you didn't have the tools or skills to do such things yourself.  And you would go to it for advice. But for aesthetics, not so much. But whatever you bought, or whatever work you had done, there was a gift that kept on giving.

The Reason For The Season

"Jesus is the reason for the season."

Now, if you're a Christian, you might say that about Christmas or Easter.  But Springfield (MA) City Councilor Bud Williams made that comment during a public menorah-lighting ceremony.  When someone pointed out his gaffe, he responded, "Jesus was Jewish."  

So, Mr. Williams, you are American, I presume.  Are you the reason why we celebrate Independence Day?

Anyway, I am not going to pick on him any more.  I've been around long enough to have heard some real howlers from elected officials, including Gerald Ford, Ronald Reagan, Bush I, Bush II, Dan Quayle, Michelle Bachmann and the inimatable (except, of course, by Tina Fey) Sarah Palin.

(Ms. Fey's spot-on portrayal of John McCain's assasination insurance lends credence to the adage that it takes a genius to play an idiot.)

Anyway, I will enlighten the esteemed Mr. Williams by pointing out that axial tilt and the ellipticality (Is that a real word?) are the reasons for the seasons.

But they are not the reason for this:

Believe it or not, that winsome couple was on a Winter Solistice ride.  But they were, not in Florida, but in Victoria, Australia where they don't have (except in the mountain areas) any season like our winters here in NYC, let alone in places like the northern plains of the US or Canada, or the Eurasian steppe.

The Victoria (not Victorian!) "winter" is also unlike those in that it begins in June--when the couple was photographed.  So their June is, well, our May.  

Happy Solistice to all, whichever you're experiencing!

N.B:  Please do not try to infer anything about my own politics from my choice in the honorable elected officials I've mentioned in this post! ;-)

For Ornamental Purposes Only

We've all seen cute bicycle Christmas (or other holiday) ornaments.  Some are faithful representations of racing, mountain, BMX or other kinds of bikes.  Others are just barely recognizable even as bicycle shaped objects.

While some capture our favorite two-wheelers in admirable detail, there are others that leave you wondering whether it was made by anyone who had ever seen a bicycle in his or her life.

This one, though, is truly strange:

Talk about toe clip overlap!  If an actual bicycle were designed in proportion to this ornament, I think its would-be rider would take a "header" even before getting his or her leg over the top tube!

That said, it is kind of cute.  And the woman who made it also makes some other nice stuff, bicycle-themed and otherwise.

Other Decorations Can't Hold A Candle To This!

I know that during the four-plus years I've been writing this blog, I've written a few Christmas-themed posts.  I have shown bicycles used as props for Christmas lights and other decorations and, a couple of days ago, an ugly Christmas sweater with cycling reindeer.  A couple of weeks ago, I wrote a diatribe against buying your kids (or the kids in your life) department-store bikes for Christmas.

Now, I'm assuming that some of you, my dear readers, are Jewish--or, at least observe Hanukkah in some fashion. I haven't forgotten about you.  How could I, after coming across this?:

This, and other menorahs, can be found here.

Hanukkah, of course, commemorates the victory of an army of Jewish Maccabees over a Greek occupying force that vastly outnumbered them.  The Maccabees thought they had enough oil to last only for one night, but their menorah burned for eight days and nights.

Given the role that bicycles have played in the military, it's hard not to wonder how things might have turned out if one side or the other had bicycles. For that matter, would Moses have had to spend forty years wandering the desert if he had two wheels and two pedals?

All right:  I'll stop before I start offending anyone's religious senibilities (if I haven't already done that).  Happy Hanukkah!