Would You Buy A Bike From This Man?

 Call me a monster, if you will. There are a few people and things that make me wish abortion could be retroactive Two of them are so-called musical groups:  Chicago and Nickelback. Another is a so-called singer: Debby Boone.

Also within the realm of noise that people will listen to, and pay for the privilege, I would include most of today’s Republican Party.  As for the family of the Fake Tan Führer, I would extend my wish a couple of generations back.

Another “Exhibit A” in the case for retroactive abortion, to my mind, was Pee Wee Herman. 

Of course, not everyone felt the same way I do. Otherwise, why would there be a market for his most famous prop:  the bicycle he used in the movie “Pee Wee’d Big Adventure?”

It will be up for auction in a week, and is expected to command a price between $30,000 and $60,000. Just in case you might be interested.

By the way:  He never had any children. Someone might see that as “proof” a rumor that circulates every decade is true: Cycling causes male sterility. Maybe someone secretly installed an undetectable birth control device!

Send In The Clowns. No, Bring 'Em On!

Just days after Chelsea bombing, John Miller is telling us "be not afear'd".

All right, he isn't given to talking like Caliban, or any other Shakespeare character.  But he did tell us not to be afraid.



And I'm listening.  You see, he's the New York Police Department's Deputy Counterterrorism Commissioner. Hmm.. A  title like that and a $150 deposit will get him a ride on a Citibike.

Seriously, though...He knows what he's talking about.  Especially when he's telling us what we shouldn't fear, now, in this Time of Trouble.

"Don't believe the hype and don't be afraid of the clowns," he reassured us.

The clowns?  Hey, I ain't afraid of no stinkin' clowns.  Even if they're scary clowns.  I mean, if they have to tell us they're scary, how bad can they be? Right?

Honestly,  do you believe he's any scarier, or any more of a clown, than certain people (whose names I won't mention!;-)  who are running for office?

Tell me:  Which one has worse hair?

And, as long as I'm on my bike, I can ride away from them.  So, I'll have even less reason to worry about Scary Clowns--unless they start riding bikes, too!

Him, I worry about.  But not this one:

Faux Winter

An ex of mine grew up in the Miami area.  I made a few trips there,including couple during the winter, with her. 

In those days, the stores sold what seemed to be fake winter clothes.  They had the plaids, weaves, muted colors and other visual cues of garments worn to keep the cold off our bods and Jack Frost from nipping at our toes.  I even saw jackets with faux-fur collars and hoods and fuzzy mittens.

But that is where the resemblance between those clothes and the ones I could buy in New York--or from, say, LL Bean--ended.  The garments and accessories sold in Sunshine State stores had about as much insulating value as a candy wrapper.  I'm not even sure those faux cold weather vetements could have shielded their wearers against that meteorological feature found in Florida's nickname.

I found myself thinking about those clothes when I came across this image:

From:  Language Architects

Could it really be that Pee Wee Herman is riding his bike through a fake winter scene?  I'm shocked, I tell you...