Make Sure You Know The Way

 Nearly a century and a half ago, Baron Haussmann remade Paris. Before he began his work, the City of Light had, like many other old European cities, serpentine, circuitous streets. He replaced them with wider, arrow-straight avenues and boulevards. 

He reasoned, correctly, that those new thoroughfares would facilitate commerce. 

But city and national officials probably cared more about how they could make it easier for troops to move—and put down protests and rebellions for which Parisians were famous. City residents who incited or participated in such conflicts could evade gendarmes and soldiers, many of whom came from other parts of the country—or different quarters of the city—and were therefore not familiar with the meandering streets.

I mention this history because if you are trying to flee law enforcement or military personnel—whether because you’ve incited a protest for a noble cause or have committed a crime (which I don’t recommend)—on your bicycle, be sure you know the terrain.

It’s too late for a man in Troy, New York. Police in the city, just northeast of Albany, responded to a call about “suspicious activity.” They tried to question a man riding his bike in the area. But instead of stopping, he sped up and tried to evade the cops.

He pedaled down a couple of streets pursued by the patrolmen who flashed their lights and blared their siren. He steered into a backyard where, in the darkness, he tumbled over an embankment and into the Hudson River, where he drowned.

I don’t know whether the man actually committed a crime or simply panicked when the cops approached him. Either way, fleeing wasn’t a good idea—especially if he didn’t know the territory.

How Long Could He Hold It?

It boggles the mind to realize that on the last day of a three-week race, a lead of less than one minute in overall time (for the whole three weeks) is considered "insurmountable"--unless, of course, you're Greg Lemond or Tadej Podacar.

The one explanation I can come up with is from my own (admittedly) very limited experience with racing:  It's a lot harder to make up time than to lose it. Really, it doesn't take much to give up a minute or more to an opponent:  a flat tire or other malfunction, a slip or fall,  a miscalculation of an opponent's move--or simply a wrong turn.

At least, those are the things we hear about in race reports.  I wonder whether riders have lost races due to events that would be inconsequential in daily life.  

Specifically, I'm thinking of "nature calling."  If we're not racing, we stop when we find a place to "let go." But I suppose that's not possible in a race.

Or if you're being pursued by cops.  

On Saturday night, a 38-year-old man was riding light-less on a Yakima, Washington street.  A constable pulled up toward him, intending to talk to him about the dangers of what he was doing.  But when the officer turned on his bright lights, the man took off. 

After making a few turns, he ditched his bike and backpack and started running down a driveway.  He tripped on a low fence.  The officer threatened to use his Taser on him if he tried to continue his flight.

Then, according to the officer, the man put his hands up and exclaimed, "I just need to poop."

Later, when the police searched the bag the man tossed, the found three cell phones, brass knuckles, a pill cutter, $240 in counterfeit currency, more than 100 blue oxycodone pills laced with fentanyl, nine suboxone strips, two pipes, a scale, knives and some suspicious checks.

Oh, and the police discovered the guy had felony warrants for a Department of Corrections violation, possession of heroin and identity theft.

This leads me to wonder:  What if he'd just "held it" a little longer--and stayed on his bike? 

Alliteration Alert!

News reporters rarely, if ever, get to write their own headlines.  That can be both a good and a bad thing, as I discovered when I was writing for a local newspaper.

Sometimes titles bear little or no relation to the articles they accompany.  Other times, though, they can draw attention in a way the story itself might not. 

Case in point:  "Bavarian Bakery Bicycle Burglary". 

If I didn't know any better, I might wonder whether some thief took off with a strudel-maker's Kalkhoff  in Munich.  

Turns out, the perp robbed the Bavarian Bakery of Dover, Delaware and fled on his bicycle.  

Some time after midnight on Friday, police officers saw 56-year-old Samuel L. Curtis riding on the wrong side of the road with no lights or reflectors, and wearing dark clothing while carrying a dark backpack. When the cops tried to stop him, he kept on riding--until he fell off his bike.  That's when the constables collared the crook and, on him, found a box he took from the bakery and tools he used to break in.

Bavarian Bakery Bicycle Burglar

He was released on a $15,150.00 unsecured bond.  For that price, he could have gone to Bavaria--and a few other places!

 

Fleeing: Speed Without Skill

A rush of adrenaline might make you stronger and faster, or at least feel as if you are.  It does not, however, improve your cycling skills.

Raymond Rodriguez of Roseburg, Oregon discovered that the hard way.  Around 3:50 this past Saturday morning, a police officer tried to stop him.  He took off--and crashed.

It's not the first time I've heard of someone crashing while trying to flee on bicycle.  My guess is that Rodriguez, like most criminals, is not an experienced cyclist--or, at least, he was riding under greater stress than normal. 

Anyway, after crashing, he did what almost all would-be fugitives do in such a situation:  He tried to continue on foot.  And he met the same fate as those others:  He was caught in short order.   And arrested.

While in custody, cops found methamphetamine on him.  He was jailed for that, and interfering with police, but has since been released.  

Maybe now he can work on his high-speed cycling skills.

The Wrong Way

Be on your best behavior when you're on the lam.

Is that the moral of the story I'm about to relate?



Jeff Basil Chandler was riding a bicycle on Richmond Road in Williamsburg, Virginia at 3:02 on Sunday morning.  The 24-year-old from Yemassee, South Carolina was weaving in the eastbound lane.  The problem was, he was headed westbound.

The advantage to riding at that hour is that, in most places, you won't encounter much traffic.  Hence, there tends to be less of a police presence.  On the other hand, if constables are in the area, they're bored (unless they're chasing drunk drivers) and looking for something to do.

So it's not surprising that a Williamsburg police officer would notice--and stop--a cyclist weaving in the wrong lane.  Perhaps that officer thought Chandler was drunk; in any event, said officer identified Chandler through his South Carolina driver's license.

These days, nearly all patrol cars (at least here in the US) are equipped with computers that allow officers to run a check on whomever they stop. The Williamsburg cop did just that and found that South Carolina had issued warrants for Chandler's arrest.

Turns out, he was wanted for kidnapping, robbery with a deadly weapon and being an accessory to a felony.  He was brought to a local jail and booked two hours after he was stopped.  Now he has to decide whether to waive his extradition hearing or follow a process that will allow him to appeal extradition in local court and with state prosecutors.

Just remember:  If you're going to run (ride) from the law, make sure you're running the right way, and in a straight line!

He Couldn't Run Away. But He's In The Running.

Was he practicing for a Darwin Award?

According to police reports, Brady Michael Phipps pilfered some merchandise from a Verizon store in Redding, California.  From there, he ran across Hilltop Drive and entered a Dick's Sporting Goods store, where he climbed a ladder and stashed the stolen items in the rafters.

Police officers came in.  Now, I know that outside my hometown of New York, Big Box stores are even bigger than they are here.  Still, I think that Phipps' chances of eluding capture weren't the greatest, especially since multiple officers were in the store.

That, apparently, is not what he was thinking. He grabbed one of the bicycles the store was selling and rode it through the aisles and racks in an attempt to escape.

One officer knocked him down.  He continued to resist arrest, but the officers managed to take him into custody and book him.  The charges:  suspicion of obstructing an officer, petty theft...and violating parole.Turns out, he's been booked into the Shasta County jail twelve times since 2017.  

Brady Michael Phipps, from the Shasta County Sheriff's Office

Maybe I've lived a sheltered life, but small-time shoplifting doesn't seem like the smartest thing to do when you're on parole.  Nor does stealing a bike in an attempt to elude cops.  

Also, I can't help but to think that in the confines of a store, being on a bike might've made it easier for the police to capture him, if for no reason than it was easier to knock him off the bike than it would've been to tackle him while he was running.

Brady Michael Phipps made it easier for some police officer to take him out of circulation.  At the rate he's going, he'll take himself out of the gene pool and therefore be a candidate for the Darwin Awards.

Lady Godiva He Ain't

When I was writing for a local newspaper, I was talking to a police officer when a call about a robbery came in.  The caller had gotten a glimpse of the suspect, so the officer asked for a description.

"He was wearing a T-shirt, blue jeans and sneakers."  As the officer wrote it down, he repeated it to the caller, just to be sure--and asked for more detail which, apparently, the caller couldn't (or wouldn't?) provide.

He hung up the phone.  He saw that I was just barely suppressing a laugh; his knowing smirk was a signal that I could release it.  "How many other guys fit that description?," he wondered aloud.

I'm recalling that incident after seeing a news story out of Fort Worth, Texas.  Apparently, at around 5:45pm on Saturday, a man on a bicycle chased down a female jogger and assaulted her.  

Now, my heart goes out to that woman and I hope the guy is caught.  He, however, might be as difficult to spot as the perp in jeans, T-shirt and sneakers, although his apparel was entirely different.

The difference was, well, that he had no apparel at all.  That's right:  He rode his bike naked. According to a witness, he'd been sitting on a park bench before he took off his shorts, hopped on a bicycle and pedaled westbound on Rogers Road.

Police say that the suspect is a white male who's about 5'10" tall with a slender, athletic build and short brown hair on his head but none on his body.

The woman, thankfully, escaped his clutches.

I hope he's caught.  If he's riding around naked, he probably will be, very soon.  Somehow, though, I doubt that he is:  For all we know, he might be wearing jeans, a T-shirt and sneakers at this very moment!

What Didn't Stop Him, And What Kept Him Going

A man riding his bicycle strikes a barbed-wire fence and flipped over his handlebars.

Ouch!

According to police officers who pursued him, he continued his flight on foot.

I'm having a very difficult time imagining how the man managed not to entangle himself in the barbed wire if he flipped over his bars when he crashed into the fence.  

And I'm having only a slightly less difficult time envisioning someone who took such a tumble--whether or not he was impaled with the barbed wire--getting up and running away.


Maybe I'm just a wimp with a low pain threshold.  Or, maybe the man's ability to endure suffering is explained by what the cops found beside his bike:  a box of prescription pills.  After they used a TASER on him, they also found a marijuana pipe in his pocket and a small amount of marijuana in an undisclosed location.

 

He's quite the character:  A warrants check showed that he was wanted for possession of a controlled substance, injury to a child and bond forfeiture related to his failure to comply with a sex-offender registration law.

Hmm...Maybe the pot and pills weren't the only reason why he got up and ran after crashing the bicycle into a barbed wire fence and flipping over the bars.

From what I see in the photo, the bike doesn't look any the worse for the experience.