You Know The Drill

So why am I writing a post about drillium when the world is going to hell in a handbasket?

Well, I could get cute (as if I could, at my age) and say that COVID-19 is poking holes--or exposing them--in the structures of our societies.  Or some such thing.

But, truthfully, I'm writing this post because I can't say anything you haven't heard about the corona virus epidemic--and because somebody sent me this picture:

Apparently, someone in Germany is selling that stem on eBay.  Don't worry:  I'm not going to buy it.  It caught my notice because a stem is one component I would never think of drilling.  I've seen fluted, milled and pantographed goosenecks.  But I can't remember the last time I saw a drilled-out stem.

Mind you, I'm not anti-drillium.  In fact, I've seen some lovely pieces, including this Stronglight crankset:

But sometimes folks get silly with their drills (Hmm..."silly with their drills"...such an odd phrase).  You really have to wonder what purpose saving a couple of grams actually serves.

Then again, how many people actually believed that it was about function or performance? 

They Need It Like A Hole In The....

A few years ago, it seemed that "drillium" might make a comeback.  A few companies, including Velo Orange, were offering drilled-out versions of  chainrings and other components. Some still are. VO's drilled-out chainrings are actually pretty:  They seemed  seemed to be covered with pindots.  I'd actually put them on one or two of my bikes.

Back in the heyday of drillium, it seemed that anything and everything that could take a drill--and a few things that couldn't--got the treatment.  In addition to chainrings, shift levers and brake lever handles commonly got drilled.  When I first began to work in a bike shop, one of the jokes about Lambert/Viscount bikes was that they came with drilled-out tires and water bottles.

Seriously, though, some cyclists were manic with drills.  I saw toe clips and other kinds of clips--for brake cables and water bottle cages--perforated, ostensibly in the name of saving weight.  Sometimes, components that really didn't need to be any lighter were riddled with pockmarks, like the Huret Jubilee, still the lightest (and to my eye, prettiest) rear derailleur ever made.  Or this derailleur I saw on eBay:

The first-generation SunTour Cyclone might be the second-lightest rear derailleur ever made.  It's certainly lighter than any made today.  Oh, and I think the silver version with the black inset is the second-prettiest derailleur ever made:  all the more reason it shouldn't be defaced with a drill!

No, That Hole Is Not In Your Pants

Many, many years ago, I took chemistry.   Let's just say it wasn't my best subject.  I think I realized as much when I had to memorize the ninety-nine thousand elements of the  periodic table.  ( All right, I was exaggerating just a bit.) I think I remembered about five or six. Then we had an exam in which some of the questions consisted of a single word, which we had to spell with the elements from the table.  One of those words was a synonym for excrement, which of course, is spelled with Sulfur, Hydrogen, Iodine and Titanium.  Oh, right, Titanium is Ti.

It's also not the only element ending in '-ium":  lithium, sodium and potassium are among the best-known.  One thing I learned from working in bike shops, though, is that you shouldn't get all of your education, even in the sciences, from school.  Indeed, in those velocipedic variora, I found out there were other elements besides molybdenum and titanium.  Like "can't-affordium", that mythical material used to make bikes for those who spend more dollars than miles (or even kilometers) on their machines.  And then there was that material that developed holes whenever it was made into bicycle parts.  I am referring, of course, to drillium.

Now, some drillium bits were stylish and, on occasion, even made sense.  Drilling brake levers often improved their grippability:  That, I think, is one reason why Campagnolo and other companies actually made lever blades with holes or slots built into them.  Interestingly, the slotted Campy Record brake levers actually weighed a few grams more than the plain ones.  Someone from Campagnolo explained that the material was actually slightly thicker so that strength wouldn't be compromised. 

While drilling didn't serve any purpose, other than minute weight reduction, on chainrings, I think those are the components that looked best when touched by drill bits.  Some derailleurs also looked good with it, though on some components--like the Huret Jubilee--drilling was impossible and, really, pointless because they were so light. 

Believe it or not, there were also drillium saddles.  I was reminded of them when I came across this photo:

I wonder whether Monsieur Herse punched the holes in that seat.  Or was it made that way?  Back in the '80s, Tioga--the maker of some of the best parts and accessories found on early mountain bikes--offered a seat for BMX that wasn't what most of us would think of as "drillium", but was in the spirit of it.  The "Spyder" seat was very popular on the BMX circuit--and, interestingly, is still made today:

From what I've heard, some cyclists--time trialists, mainly--even took took off the covers and padding of Cinelli Unicanitor seats and drilled out the plastic base.  Of course, most people never saw their handiwork, at least if the padding and leather cover were glued back on.  But a few such cyclists took the plain plastic-shell model (without the padding and cover) and drilled that out.  Hmm...I wonder what it was like to sit on such a thing with unpadded shorts!

I imagine that not even those Unicanitors survived the treatment for very long, which may be the reason why we don't see very many "drillium" or "spyder" seats today!

Is the symbol for "drillium" "Dr"?  Or just "D"?  As I said earlier, it's been a while since I took chemistry!

Drillium Jewelry

You might say that I came of age (as a cyclist, anyway) in the late 1970s:  the heyday of drillium.

It seemed that, for a time, everyone was trying to drill as many small holes into whatever bike parts they could.  Even parts that were already ethereally light did not escape the probing and boring of high-speed steel bits.

Some drillium parts were rather lovely; others were just insane.  This, I believe, is beyond either category:

Uploaded to Pinterest by Henrik Jakobsson

I would like to meet the person who gave this Campagnolo Nuovo Record "the treatment".  Did he or she have a regular job (or was this part of that job)?  A family?  I can only imagine how much time that person spent on this project.

And I have to wonder whether that person did the same thing to the bike that this derailleur was hung on.  Or was it ever installed on a bike?

All right, I'll stop the snide rhetorical questions and admit that I actually like it.  No, I take that back:  I love it.  It's over-the-top in its minimalism. (Is that a contradiction?)  I would even say it's jewelry, of a sort.

What Will Be The Latest Diet Craze For Bike Parts?

It looks like we're about due for a wave of insane measures to save weight on bike parts.  Of course, some might argue that we are in one.  In any event, it seems that such a cycle comes every other decade. 

In my cycling life, I have witnessed two such bouts of insanity. The first came during the '70's.  Those of you who weren't into cycling (or weren't around) then probably remember other ridiculous fads like disco, droopy mustaches, pastel-colored suits and mood rings.  Well, in cycling, there was something almost as absurd:  an attempt to turn seemingly every bicycle part into a wedge of Emmentaler (or, for us Americans, a piece of Swiss cheese).

  
 Ah, yes, drillium.  I remember it well.  Along with it came slotted brake and shift levers.  Ironically, Campagnolo's cut-out Super Record brake levers actually weighed a few grams more than their smooth-surfaced Record levers.  A company rep said that Campy made the material thicker so to make the levers safe for slotting.

Along with grunge rock and "indie" everything (To me "indie" meant, in the '90's. more or less what "gourmet", when used as an adjective, meant in the '80's:  "pretentious".), the final decade of the 20th Century took slotting one step further.  It seemed that every kid who had an Erector Set as a kid came of age during that decade and either made bike parts or opened a "high concept" shop that sold them:

What will this decade's insane attempt to save a gram bring us?  I would argue that it already gave us one such trend:  almost everything made of carbon fiber.  Now, I can understand why racers would want a carbon fiber frame, and perhaps even a set of wheels--as long as his or her sponsor is paying for them.  But a carbon fiber seat post rack?  Any kind of rack made of that material?  The day we see a carbon fiber GPS system for bikes will be the day when, as Pere Teilhard de Chardin said about the Hiroshima and Nagasaki bombings, technology has triumphed over reason.

Holy Drillium, Eddy!

No matter how attractive you are, you have at least one photo of yourself that makes you wonder, "What was I thinking?"

It might be the hairstyle or clothing you wore when the photo was taken.  You can excuse yourself by remembering that they were en vogue at the time the photo was taken. Still, you wonder how you or anyone else dressed or looked that way.  

That's how I see most photos of myself.  Similarly, I look at pictures of some of my old bikes, and those my riding buddies and other cyclists rode, and wonder what possessed us to ride some of the stuff we rode. 

There are those scary '80's neon fade paint jobs.  And Benotto handlebar tape:  Available in colors to go or clash with those fade paint jobs!  But the first utterly pointless bike fade I can recall is "drillium."  Weight weenies of the '70's and early '80's drilled and slotted every part of every bicycle on which such things were even remotely possible--and even a few that nobody ever thought to drill.  As an example, holes were drilled in the toe clips of the bicycle Eddy Mercx rode to the hour record in Mexico City in 1972.

But I don't think even he went to this extreme:

Someone is selling it on eBay. Is it a seatpost with holes in it?  Or is it seatpost material formed around the holes?

Hipster Needs More Holes

OK, I'll admit it:  The real reason I've been denigrating all of those "hipster fixies" is that I've wanted one.

Well, now I've made my wish come true:

 Happy April 1st!

I must say, I like the ride.  But it's a little on the heavy side.  So to keep its fine ride qualities, I'm going to do what we used to do back in the day to lighten up:

It just happens that someone gave me a  nice old drill with some nice hard bits. 

And all of us old-school cyclists know that "an ounce off the wheels is worth two off the frame."  So if I like the ride now, imagine if I made the wheels lighter.  And the tires...