Come on, admit it: You've stopped at Dunkin' Donuts during at least one of your rides!
(I'll admit to having stopped for all sorts of "munchies" during rides, including maple donuts at Tim Horton's in Montreal, croissants and pain au chocolat at various French bakeries, kaimaki in Greece and various fruit treats in Laos and Cambodia. And, yes, for Boston Cream or blueberry donuts, or chocolate-dipped French cruellers, at DD!)
The thing is, Dunkin' Donuts knows we exist. They may know our preferences in comestibles, but not necessarily in machinery.
I came to that conclusion after seeing a photo of DD's new tandem bicycle.
Yes, you read that right. Dunkin' Donuts is dropping its usual offering of donut-themed holiday gifts, probably because people almost always purchase them on impulse in Dunkin' shops, where there are fewer customers owing to social distancing mandates. The new tandem bike is available only as an online purchase.
While some might like a frame adorned with the pink-and-orange logo (I have to admit, it is kinda cute!), one has to wonder about the bike itself. To paraphrase Molly Hurford at Bicycling , American may run on Dunkin', but nobody should ride a Dunkin' bike.
To me, it looks like a "chopper" without the banana seat. Furthermore, it's offered in only one size--with a road-style configuration both in the front and rear. Most one-size-fits-all tandems are step-through at least in the rear, if not in the front as well.
Perhaps worst of all, the rear seat is behind the rear wheel, which makes a good saddle position all but impossible for most riders. Also, the front ("captain's") cockpit is all but impossibly long for a bike its size, and the rear is so short that all but the tiniest riders would have to sit upright.
Dunkin' Donuts website does not give specifications regarding standover height, let alone geometry or componentry. I'm guessing that while the folks at DD might want us to "run on Dunkin'" they might not expect anyone to actually ride on their bikes. If anything, the bike is a collector's item for the most fanatical Dunkin' devotee. As for me, I'll stick to the Boston Cream and blueberry donuts, and the chocolate-dipped French cruellers.
I once joined friends on a trip to a trade fair where every attendee was entered into a draw for a "mountain bike". The numbers were low so I estimated odd were good, and they were, my rich friend with an expensive mountain bike won!
ReplyDeleteWhen I went to spend some days staying with that friend we headed off for a ride. They really enjoyed it but for me it was hell. That thing did look like a bike but not a single element was right. Perhaps that is why I sometimes see what look like almost new bikes in the metal recycling skips at the dump...
By the way Justine, how are the beautiful works of art which you mangled doing these days?
Should be easy to wheelie
ReplyDeleteVoyage— Negrosa, my black vintage Mercian Olympic, seems to have weathered my more recent accident with a few scratches, bent handlebars and, oddly enough, saddle carriage. I wish my body were so easy to mend.
ReplyDeletePoor Arielle (my 2006 Audax) though, didn’t make it through the first crash. I donated the frame to an artists collective: If it couldn’t be fixed, I thought, why not let someone make something from it?